Forget me not • Felix

Chapter 5

The threat of Ateez had gone but just as we had learnt before, it was never completely gone. Any and all notifications of their movements was tracked and so they knew if another attack would come.
Despite now knowing the truth, Felix became distant and wasn't helping with any of my memory regain. I wanted to know more about our relationship but it felt that to him, it was already over, like I had died. At least he could try... I was.
Over time, it all fell apart and he left. He moved out without another word and didn't contact me, the distance I wanted to ignore and improve upon increasing tenfold.

I once again felt empty, like I would never get those happy times back.
Then, I started seeing Jisung. At first, Chan sent him over to check up on me. It's like my brother just can't help but accidentally match me up with people. We clicked and it was like the sad times had never happened. Jisung was so cheery and full of life that it hadn't made me forget or remember but just made me enjoy what I did have.
Half a year later, the boy hadn't officially moved in but he might as well have as he spent most of his time in the apartment and even paid for some of it.

The boy admitted quite early on that he tended to do more paperwork nowadays and would help Chan out from time to time but I was happy with his honesty. It was extremely appreciated! He had come back from a busy day at work, yet still was back when I had expected, and had the biggest smile on his face despite the sweat on his forehead.
"Better get your skates on love, I've booked for us to go to the indoor ice rink tonight"
I squealed with joy. Ice skating was something I enjoyed when I was younger and couldn't remember the last time I had attempted to skate. No, I wasn't the best, that didn't mean I couldn't enjoy it though. 

Padded jacket, comfy jeans and I was ready. The pair of us headed to the rink and soon got set up with the skates. We waited for our go and Jisung lightly kissed me on the forehead.
"This is going to be so much fun" he cheered.
Wow, that's... thats deja vu. I felt it, really strong too.
Almost as if it was programmed into me, I responded, "I know, I'm so excited baby"
Jisung blushed, I didn't often call him 'baby', it was usually the other way round and he would say it with such a funny accent.
"I do like when you call me that" he spoke softly, almost embarrassed to say those words.
I smiled but inside I was questioning why I had said that at all. Trying to get my mind off things, we were finally let into the rink during our time slot and Jisung led the way.

"Come on"
He held out his hands for me to take. Again, deja vu hit and I didn't know where from.
"Trust me" the boy added when I didn't respond.
"I don't want to fall"
He smiled, "you won't, I got you"
I slowly took his hands and got onto the ice, sliding messily around at first but then getting used to it.
Where had I seen this before? Was this a scene in a movie? Had I dreamt of this?
Friends of mine have said they've had random deja vu at times but this was so specific to be a coincidence.

I nervously continued to use the side bar as a sturdy surface for if I felt shaky. Meanwhile, Jisung was skating happily in the middle like a pro. 'Show off', I thought.
"Come on Y/N, I believe in you, you can go quicker than that" he teased.
The boy started to skate off quickly, leaving me to nervously skate round the corner of the rink on my own with no support.
I could feel my body start to wobble and so I leaned my fingers forward. Jisung had done another lap and I wanted to call out to ask for his help as he had just passed me.
"Felix, help me" I called.
Oh.
Ohhhh.....

My head started getting sore and I could almost feel a headache coming. A date. I went on one of my first dates with Felix at an ice rink. That's where the words are coming from, that's where I know this from. The boy had teased me saying he was great at skating but that he'd help me, just like Jisung did. Then Felix reassured me before we went onto the ice saying "this is going to be so much fun" and he helped me onto the ice by holding his hands out and being really gentle with me before letting me gain confidence on my own. The boy had teased me and still helped me just how Jisung was doing. This was... I didn't know how to feel.

"Hey, Y/N are you ok?"
My boy's voice sounded close, when did he get here? I looked back at Jisung and saw the worry on his face.
"Yeah, just felt off is all"
He put his hand out and stroked my cheek, "it's ok baby, you can sit down for a bit if you like" then he cheekily smiled, "rather than blocking the way for the little kids"
I had perched myself in the corner so that I forced people to skate around me. For a nervous skater, that was your worst nightmare. Slowly, I nodded in response and held Jisung's hand as we gradually skated towards the bench nearby.

What was wrong with me? This was a perfectly good date and now I've ruined it.
I definitely shouldn't mention the thought of Felix, that would spoil the date all together. Jisung, I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you.