Do you know the definition of Trauma?
Trauma
* The emotional shock, following a stressful event
* Physical injury
* A deeply distressing or disturbing experience
Abuse never truly leaves
The person it hunted down to kill
The feeling of filth
Sticks to you like soot
Damaging
The mind,
Soul...
As well as the Body
This word...
Trauma
Originated from the late 17th century
Is Greek
For the literal word "wound"
The trauma, abusers leave
Can affect the body
In more ways then one
Emotions become distorted
Memory can be lost or impaired
Self esteem tarnished
Loving you was traumatic
The lows
Out weighed the highs
Your body was a black whole
Sucking the greatest years
Right out of me
To finally feel freed
Just by cutting ties with you
Leaves me skipping
Then flipping
In the rain filled skies
Those days were Gray
Those nights were dark
I fought the thoughts
That would make me into you
I prayed long and hard
To never be the trauma
Of anyone else's life
You were
My role model
Though you looked up to me
I really looked up to you
You were you...
Unapologetically
My protector
My friend
My brother
Now you're just a stranger
That ripped our family apart
One child at a time
We began with five
Now we're all scattered
N' I have become the outsider
They say forgiving
The person that hurt you
Bring a peace to your life
That's uncanny
I often wonder how's true
That really is?
Every-time I feel close
To forgiving
One look at you
Sends me
Going backwards
At lightening speed
I often think to myself
What kind of brother
Can do the things you did?
N' what kind of person
Must you be to pretend
As if none of this ever happened?
I loved you
... Hard
N' you let me all the way down
I loved you hard...
N' you snatched
The innocence of our
Little sisters
What the fuck
Am I supposed to do
With that?
How am I supposed to act?
I am angry
I am hurt...
I told you what our step father did
N' you turned around
N' did the same thing
To our little sisters
Do I have the right to be angry?
Am I wrong for feeling betrayed in every way
How am I supposed to cope?
My heart is broken beyond measure
I looked in your eyes
That night
Hoping.., praying
That wasn't true
That you'd never do that
Boy was I wrong
Now all I do
Is hope
For a since of normalcy
A feeling that isn't of anger
Some days I wish I could rewind
The hands of time back
To the day of my birthday
When it occurred
Others I wish
I'd disappear
I'm hurting
Today I will place
This mask upon my face
That is laced with a smile
N' tomorrow
I will do it again
Until one day
This no longer hurts
Talking about it
Only makes me angrier
N' thinking about it
Turns my happiness
Into hate
I don't want to hate you
But I'm not sure
How to forgive
I'm asking god for closure
Which is something
I didn't know I needed
I love you brother
I don't want you to ever
Feel as if I don't
This trauma
Cuts deep..,
So I think I want
To pretend to be numb
