Blood Lily Company - Afghanistan, year 1

XXII

"Come back to me, Tugdual"
"Well, buddy, think about coming back, eh?"
"Archer, come back, will you? We miss you, pal" Ah, that voice, I know well. It's...who is it?

Who is Tugdual? Who is Archer?
Why did Higgins shoot Kris? Who is Higgins? And Kris?
How could Erk put his hair up in a bun one-handed?
Who the fuck are these guys?!
Who am I? Who am I?

* *

I open my eyes to white. Too white, it hurts. I close my eyes again. Too late!
- Archer? Tudic?

There's only one guy that calls me Tudic. I am Tudic.
But I am also, it would seem, Archer.

It's coming back to me. Slowly, it's coming back.
- Tito?
- Yeah, that's me. Glad to see you again, mate.

I find my Albanian friend, very small, very lithe and lethal. He takes my hand, as I once took a giant's. Don't remember the giant's name, but I remember his big paw. The Albanian squeezes gently and I try to squeeze back but I can't.
- Don't worry, he tells me, Doc and Erk said it was normal. Now that you're awake, it will come back to you.
- Tito?
- Yes? He seems glad I recognize him, at least.
- Who's Erk?
- You kidding me? It's the Viking! He's not so happy, now.
- Who?
- Your Lieutenant.
- No, my Lieutenant is the other bastard.
- He's dead, that one. Killed by the Viking on the day they arrived. You don't remember? He looked worried, my pal Tito.
- I... I don't know, Tito. Who is the Viking then?
- Listen... Shortly after they arrived, he was captured, beaten, injured and... you held his hand, just like that. Except that his hands are really huge.
- Is he a giant?
- Yes. It's coming back to you?
- A little.

It's all mixed up in my head. Tito tells me everything, the R&R, the kerosene, the bullet in my helmet, my blood on his hands, on his fatigues, Erk's healing... I have flashes, images and then, there is a smile that stands out. A guy's smile, with a golden goatee around. There are blue eyes, too. A luminous bird. Gray blue eyes and dark blond hair. Black eyes with a white lock.

I have questions, for Tito. He answers me. Since he joined the Company, Tito has been my pal, my partner, my buddy. The one who watches over me and over whom I watch. A brother.

There are more memories coming up to the surface of my mind. I remember he's gay and that, as soon as he saw the famous Viking, he fell head over heels for him. I still can't remember who this guy is.
- Tito, who is Lin?
- Our Captain. She arrived with the brothers. You event spent one, no, two nights in the room.
- What?!

He's laughing, that motherfucker. As soon as I can stand on my hind legs all by myself, I'll make him pay for this.
- The first time, if I understand correctly, she was the one who asked you. You had a slightly silly smile on your face at breakfast. The second time around, you slept on your own in her bunk, you were exhausted after a patrol. It seems you fell asleep with your head on the Viking's balls. Lucky bastard!
- Huh?! What?!

Here, I'm lost. I'm straight, I would never...
- Son of a gun... you're making fun of me, Tito!
- Aye, but you should see your face!
- Jerk!
- Actually, you were sitting on a stool, leaning on him. I just assumed your head was at the right height. But, honestly, I envy you, you know.

I pity him. I still don't remember the Viking's face, but I do know he's 200% straight. And I understand, slowly, the agony of my friend, madly in love with a man who couldn't even bear for him to touch him.

Now I can squeeze my fingers and that's what I do, trying to give Tito some comfort.
- You know, Tudic, while he was sleeping, after treating you, I was able to stroke his hair. It's very soft, like silk. And it smells nice.

He had a silly smile on, too. Poor Tito. He looks at me and blushes so much that I almost laugh.
- I remember for whom your heart beats, my friend. You told him?
- No, but Kris knows. His brother, he adds when he sees my questioning gaze.

At that moment, a little woman pokes her head through the door. Doc. She's the only one on base who is smaller than Tito.
- Well, I've been hearing you chatting for a while, everything seems fine so I'm going to come and do some checking, then I will authorize visits.
- And him? I ask, pointing at my friend. Isn't he a visitor?
- He's a deputy nursemaid.
- We took turns, Tudic, with Baby Jane, Curly, Erk, Dio, Mac, even, Kris and Lin. And others. You've never been alone, mate. Even the dogs came to keep you company.

Doc then sends Tito for Erk. She takes the opportunity to blind me with a light, to make me squeeze her hand, move my fingers, count backwards... She asks me my name, date and place of birth... The more I answer, the more memories click back into place.

She reassures me when I ask her if I have amnesia.
- No, you don't.
- But then, the blackouts?
- It's because you haven't used your brain for ten days, you slacker.

I take offense, then...
- Ten days?
- Yes.
- Shit...
- You can say that again, Archer.

That comes from a warm baritone echoing in the little room. The guy bends over to get in and when he stands up, I see two borage blue eyes staring at me and a big happy smile.

OK, now I know who the Viking is. I respond to his smile. I cannot help myself. This too, I remember. I cannot resist it.

It's good to see him again. I quickly notice his shiner is gone and that he's wearing his blood-colored keffiyeh around his neck as a sling supporting his left arm. He has no more bandages, his arm is not longer immobilized and most of the time he leaves it in his scarf. It seems that it hurt less, like that. But he can use it anyway.
- Glad to see you back with us, mate. I was a little worried, with our butcher of a doctor.

Doc, who was just now walking behind him, pinches his buttocks. He jumps and his expression makes me laugh. He smiles, rubbing his ass.
- Oops, she heard.
- Erk, I'll make you pay for this, she says.
- Whenever you want, sweetheart, he answers with a big smile full of innuendos.

That too, I remember.

Slowly, there is a sense of camaraderie that resurfaces. I rebuild a mind map of the members of the Company, of their relationship. When I put the key to my mind under the doormat, Erk and Doc were a couple. Apparently they still are. The smaller with the taller. Looks a bit weird...

And then I forget all my questions, because suddenly the whole Company is in my room. Well, it feels like it is. Even Mike, not on radio watch. I also see two gray paws on the edge of my bed, two yellow eyes and a cold nose. It's Yaka. The smarter of the two. I stroke her head.

One person is missing. Actually, I've been looking for black eyes for a while now. Kris sees my gaze circling around the people in the room, he whispers a "later" to me, so I enjoy the displays of friendship, of camaraderie from my brothers in arms.

Later, it's dark. I can still taste Cook's chicken broth in my mouth. Silent Cook, who, without uttering a word, brought me his miracle recipe for the sick: a very rich soup, with baby onions, very small bits of chicken, microscopic pasta and salt. There is nothing better to get your stomach going again.

It's dark because there's no lights outside, and neither in my room. I'm about to fall asleep when I hear a rustle. I look for a weapon, yank a monitor cable, now off, take it in my hands, ready to use as a garrote, while still lying down. I wait.
- It's me, Tugdual.

She has a way of pronouncing my name, with her velvet voice, that makes me feel... giddy. And, right now, there is no steel under the velvet. I let go of my garrote. She puts her beautiful butt on the bed, leans in and kisses me softly. I embrace her, I breathe her scent. She smells of sand, gunpowder, lily.
- I missed you, Tugdual.
- I missed you too.