Blood Lily Company - Afghanistan, year 1

LXVII

Erk didn't get seventy-two hours of sleep, like at Vestman when he was fifteen, but he slept about thirty-six hours straight, without moving. Cassandra woke up and with the agility of a six-year-old but the maturity of an adult, extracted herself from the blanket without shaking the bed or waking the giant, then, having slipped down from the bed, walked to the door, driven by hunger and a call of nature.

Kris, who had been awakened by the slight noise, pick her up and carried her outside silently.

That's what Kris told me over breakfast the next day as Cassandra tucked into a bowl of porridge, sitting on the Icelandic's lap. Nanny had gone to withdraw the IV drip during the night, without waking up either the little girl or the giant.

A cup of coffee in hand, Kris looked more serene than the day before, but when I looked closely, I could see that his gaze was haunted. I raised an eyebrow, but he didn't get it and, with Cassandra close by, I couldn't elaborate. If I had known Italian or German I could have, but I only knew French, English and a few local languages. Like the little one.

Kitty picked her up to take her to wash, so I could chat with Kris. Haunted, that was the term. He told me that he remembered every blow that was struck, every artery cut, and that, that night, while Erk and Cassandra slept the sleep of children, he had been awake for a long time listening to his brother breathe, for whom he had committed these murders. I could tell something was wrong, but I didn't know how to help him express it.

He watched me struggle with my thoughts. His face was expressionless. I was staring at him. And the more I stared at him, the more I realized how handsome he was. Oh, he didn't reach his brother's almost divine beauty, but his face was almost symmetrical, with fine features, his eyes slightly almond-shaped, giving him a kind of exotic beauty.

He gave a sarcastic smile that snapped me out of my reverie.
- You're thinking of swinging the other way, Archer?
- Idiot. I was admiring you, it was true, but it was the gaze of an esthete, not of a lover. And, also, of a brother in arms worried about you.

His gaze softened. His smile too.
- Thank you, but there is not much to worry about.
- Let me the judge of that, Kris. Between the dance of death the other night, your worry for Erk, your disappearance last night.

He blushed, looking away.
- Ah, I said. You saw Tito again, didn't you?

He nodded, his eyes still to the side.
- You are two adults, you do what you want.
- I made a mistake.
- No you didn't...
- I did. I'm afraid that I involuntarily and tacitly made a promise to Tito that I won't be able to keep.

And he told me. But since it's personal, I won't write it. But I understood that the Company was left with a unbalanced love triangle, which had the potential to blow up in our faces. Tito and Kris were in love with Erk, which Erk didn't know, Kris believed Tito was in love with him and, above all, Doc intended to end her relationship with the Viking.

What a fucking mess!
- Does Lin know about this?
- No, he said, blushing again.
- And why ? Isn't she your Captain?
- She's mostly my babysitter and I'll admit that it's difficult to bring up these kinds of topics with her. She knows about my sexuality, but not about my love for Erik.
- Oh, don't worry about that, she knows.
- What?! Did you... did you tell her about it?
- No need. She's neither dumb nor blind, Kris. She knows you love him and that it is a very strong love. She doesn't know it goes further than that.

I kept quiet, I was thinking, wondering if I should talk to Lin about it or not.

Tito entered the mess, quickly followed by the rest of our platoon, Quenotte surrounded by the girls, Cassandra, all clean, holding his hand, Baby Jane carrying a tray loaded with two breakfasts.