Blood Lily Company - Afghanistan, year 1

LIV

That night Erk got drunk. Despite Cassandra's presence, he sat aside, glaring at us if we approached him, and methodically draining a bottle of... must have been Cook's brandy.

Cassandra didn't understand the giant's sadness. She also didn't understand why he refused to let her come near him. The only one who could approach him was Kris. Of course. The smaller Icelander took the bottle out of his hands and Erk let him do it, accepting the – tall – glass of water Kris gave him instead. Squeezing his brother's shoulder, Kris then left him in his corner and came over to join us, sitting down facing his brother.
- Kris, what's wrong with him? the little girl asked, climbing onto his knees.

He helped her up, giving her a hug and Cassandra gave him a look.
- Not you, too!

She looked indignant so he chuckled, throat a little tight, eyes wet.
- Sorry, kiddo.
- So, tell me what's wrong.
- Erk couldn't Heal Poll and that makes him... miserable. And I don't like to see my big brother being sad, you know.
- But why can't we give him hugs to make him feel better?
- He needs...

I could see him trying to find words Cassandra could understand, but it seemed difficult.
- It's hard to explain, kiddo, but basically he thinks the reason he failed to Heal Poll is because he didn't do enough, you see?

She nodded.
- Now, he's thinking he could have done better, even though he knows he did his best. One thing that the grown-ups here will understand but I don't think you will, is that Poll's fate has come into play and that Erk, despite his so powerful Gift, cannot go against the fate of a person. He knows it, now he has to accept it. It will take some time, I think.

She frowned, thinking.
- But, if I tell him it's... fate, wouldn't that be better for him?
- I don't know. He won't listen to me, in those cases.
- Is that why he doesn't want me to come close to him?
- No, that's because he's angry with himself and afraid of hurting you.
- He wouldn't! Not my Erk!
- Not on purpose, kiddo. But when he's angry, he doesn't control his strength, which becomes immense.
- Like when he lifted the house?
- Exactly.
- I don't like it when he's sad, you know, Kris.
- Me neither, kiddo, I don't like it.

Erk stood up, still standing straight, not wavering in the least as he walked to the exit. We had ignored him after we figured out what his dark looks meant, but then Cassandra said good night to him and we all imitated her. A chorus of "Good evening Erk, good night!" echoed in the mess hall. I noticed they were all warm and sincere, those wishes.

The Viking stopped at the door, his back to us, stiff, tense. He looked, to me, close to flight, like a wild animal. Then his posture relaxed slightly, he replied "Good night" in a very hoarse voice and walked out.

Kris relaxed too. I raised an eyebrow.
- It will be fine. He's going to bed, tomorrow he'll be cranky because he'll have a hangover, and that will pass with a greasy breakfast and willow bark tea.
- Ain't a great way to deal with his anger, I said.
- No, it's not great, but it's the least destructive to his environment.
- Still protecting us...
- Always. Archer, you read heroic fantasy, right?

I nodded and thought about it for a bit.
- He would be a paladin, in those worlds, protecting the innocents, generous and with Healing prayers...
- There, you've understood my brother, somehow.  He's a paladin.
- It's not easy in our world.
- Yeah!

We all remained silent. Well, our patrol did. Kitty took Cassandra's from Kris's lap and they went to bed. As Doc sleeps in her office, which also serves as her bedroom, there is a spare bed in the girls' room. This is where the little American girl sleeps.

Lin and Fatso approached Kris. I wanted to leave, but Lin told me to stay.
- I need your memory, Archer, because I want you to write it down. Kris, will Erik be okay?
- I think so.
- Good. Well, we need to take care of Poll.