Unintentionally Loving You || Lee Taeyong

35

As soon as the bell rang, I took my bag along to the auditorium as I promised to meet up with Sooah after school.

"Where are you going?" My feet stopped moving, I could feel a figure standing right behind me. And of course, I know it was Taeyong.

"I'm- going to a place with Yeojin. I'll get home by myself."

"Yeojin had left with Mark." My mouth left opened wide. Has he caught me lying?

I turned myself to him and maintained a serious look. "Wherever I'm going, I'll still go home after I finish my business. What about you? Shouldn't you be helping others at auditorium?"

"They've settled everything yesterday. Final check will be on this weekend." I nodded. We stayed silent for awhile. I don't know why he didn't leave, that's what stopped me from moving as well. "Don't get home too late, I'll wait for you to have dinner together."

I nodded once again before leaving him. Why does it feel hard to leave you now? As if my feet are telling me to turn back to you, Taeyong.

I walked to the door of auditorium but I saw no one inside. Was I late? Or Sooah hadn't come yet?

The auditorium was lighten up by the spot lights around, I made my way to the stage so that she could spot me as soon as she arrived.

I sat on the groud after putting my bag aside. My eyes were observing every inch inside the auditorium until all lights suddenly turned off at once.

"H-hello? Is anyone here?" My voice echoed but I received no response in return. It was super dark here that I chose to stay at where I am. My legs just won't move.

I closed my eyes as my right hand rested on my chest, trying to control my heavy and fast breath. As much as I hope Taeyong will take me out of this place now, I can't stop calling his name in my mind.

My shaky hands have started to sweat badly. I tried to stand up but I keep falling everytime, even my head was hurting much.

"So it's true. About the thing I've heard about you." I finally saw a light coming closer to me. Turned out, it was Sooah with the flash light from her phone.

"S-Sooah?"

"Nyctophobia."

My eyes turned bigger at how she bold the word 'phobia'. She had found out that I have a phobia of darkness. "Sooah, I beg you. Please turn the lights on. I'll explain everything to-"

"Isn't that, mental illness? You're sick, Hyeyoon!"

I was shaking my whole body up, my hands were covering my ears. Sooah was standing right in front of me, but she didn't try to help me which made it obvious that she had something against me.

"I've got it now, why he let you stay at his house."

"What do you mean?" I looked up to her, my curiousity was looking for a clear explanation from her.

"I've known Taeyong for too long, he's not the type who will let a girl living in his house. But after going to his house for several times, you were still there. So he actually let you stay just because you're ill. And his kindness is telling him to help you. While you..are thinking that he was sent to be your cure. Hyeyoon, open your eyes. Don't tell me that you think he's having a thing on you." She laugh. An evil laugh. And that was when I finally realize that Sooah has never liked me at the first place.

"Sooah, w-why are you..being nice to me all this time?"

"Because I'm curious, Hyeyoon! I'm curious about the girl living in Taeyong's house. And for how much I know Taeyong, he hates girls getting close to him. But now your illness had answered all my clueless questions. I pity you, Hyeyoon." I hate how I couldn't fight her words, as I was fighting my anxiety to death. I felt short of breath.

Sooah turned off her flash light before walking away from me. "I have to remind you. Taeyong, he has no feeling towards you. All he has is, sympathy. So just give up on him."

Why does everythings seems black now? Even darker than before.

All I heard was a sound of footsteps running to me. It became louder and clear.

****

My eyes slowly opened, sun shined brightly through the window. I rubbed my eyes before realizing that I wasn't in my room. But it wasn't Taeyong's room though.

My head was still hurting as much as yesterday. I changed my position to sit and calm myself down for a minute.

"But now your illness had answered all my clueless questions. Taeyong, he has no feeling towards you. All he has is, sympathy."

Sooah's words just won't leave my mind. Each sentences were playing like a music in my ear.

I felt a tear drop on my hand, it hurts a lot that I couldn't help but keep shedding tears. My right hand was rubbing in circle on my chest, if only I can share this pain to someone.

"You're awake." I heard a guy voice at the frame of the door. Lucas was approaching me with a tray of breakfast in his hand. Putting the tray on the mini desk next to this bed, he took a seat in front of me.

Seeing him around, I knew that I was staying in his house. However, that doesn't concern me anymore.

I'm not used to cry in front of someone, I usually would find a place to hide. But this moment, I was just hoping that he would comfort me. And I don't feel like hiding my pain from him.

"I'm sorry that I bring you here. Don't cry, I'll send you back home after this. I found you fainted in auditorium yesterday. That's why I bring you here and have a doctor coming checked on you."

His fingers were wiping my tears off but they kept coming out. This pain, was almost same as the one I experienced when Jungwoo left me 4 years ago.

Am I going to lose Taeyong now? No, how am I losing him when I've never owned him.

"Lucas." My sore eyes looked into his eyes. "It hurts. It hurts a lot, Lucas. Why did he do this to me?"

He finally pulled me into his arm while his right hand stroking my hair. "Cry as much as you want, let it all out. I'm listening."

It's pathetic really, how much I hope it's still you and me in the end, Taeyong.

****

Lucas's hoody wrapped me up after taking a shower. I ate the breakfast he prepared before leaving the house with him.

I remained silent until the car he drove stopped in front of Taeyong's appartment. Lucas didn't say anything as he noticed that I wasn't in a mood to have a chat.

After parking his car, he followed me until we reach the door of Taeyong's house. I pressed the bell, hands shaking.

Ever since I woke up, I've been wondering on how to face Taeyong. I didn't come home yesterday when I've actually promised him to have a dinner together. Now that a lot of things happened, I even felt ashamed to confront him.

The door then opened, Taeyong was dressing up in white hoodie. He didn't say a word but just walked away after opening the door for me. After I asked Lucas to leave, I followed Taeyong from his back.

He was packing some of his clothes into luggage.

"Taeyong, are you going somewhere?"