Unintentionally Loving You || Lee Taeyong

15

"Taeyong, is that you?"

"I'm sorry I didn't meet your expectation, Hyeyoon. It's me, Jungwoo."

I released a sigh of relief. At least, someone found me here. Even that person wasn't the person I wished to be.

"Hyeyoon, are you okay inside? Do you get hurt? If you're fine, knock on the door twice." My weak hand formed a fist and knocked on the door twice as he asked me to. 

"Thank you, for finding me." He was still the same Jungwoo who left me 4 years ago.

Without replying to me back, he sent something inside through the window. A touch light, he still has a touch light with him, just like the old him who will carry a touch light along whenever we went out for a date.

"Hyeyoon, use that first. I'll go to call others to help us." I heard a sound of him trying to stand up but I stopped him.

"Can you..not leave me alone?" My voice stuttered. Yeah, it has been so long since I face such situation with him.

"Can you move aside, don't stand behind this door. I'm gonna try to kick the doorknob." I stood up and took some steps backward as he requested. The touch light was tightly wrapped in my grip.

Jungwoo kicked the doorknob but it still won't open. For last, he kicked it again and finally I heard a sound of the lock clicked. Just as the door opened wide and revealing him, I ran into his arm. Even though he wasn't opening his arm for me, he still stroked my hair softly.

I heard it, the sound of his heart beating fast. So fast that I couldn't count them properly at once. The moment I lifted my head up from his chest, I saw..

Taeyong was catching his breath, standing just 2 meter away from me and Jungwoo.

Our eyes, met.

***

"Hyeyoon, can we talk?" Just when I arrived back at the homestay with Jungwoo and Taeyong, Sooah approached me first before others.

I nodded, agreeing to her. Only the both of us in this kitchen, it felt awkward that I was having a talk with her. Because she's someone that Taeyong like and Taeyong is someone that I like.

"I'm sorry about today. I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay. It's not your fault anyway." I stood up and tried to leave before I say something even worse to her. 

"Hyeyoon, are you mad at me and Taeyong?" Yes, I am. I really am.

"No, how can I?" 

"Then can you talk to Taeyong? I'm sure he feels guilty for letting you go alone. But Taeyong is not someone who'll right away apologize when he did something wrong. He'll punish himself first, so I'm afraid that you'll misunderstand him." I turned back to her.

Hearing her saying that, I felt like I was left far behind her. She seemed to know everything about Taeyong. What about me? I've never tried to understand him, all I've been doing was thinking about my feeling.

I've argued with him a lot, so often that I've almost confirm myself that he hates me. 

Since day was getting late, everyone went to sleep early because we're going to do volunteer tomorrow. But I couldn't sleep, so I went out to take a walk. My pace stopped just as I saw Taeyong lying on the wooden table.

I was hesitated to approach him since he was closing his eyes, sleeping I guess.

It was cold outside as the wind blew hard tonight and he was just wearing a white shirt. I could tell that he's a clean person, he likes white. And I like black. We don't have many similarities, a bit of disappointment.

I remembered waking up in his room, white things surrounded the vibe of his room. But, amazingly they were all shining. If it was me, maybe I'll spoiled the color already.

After fetching a thick blanket from my room, I went out and walked closer to him. It must be tiring to be a president of SRC, he has a lot of work to do. He has no free time to enjoy things like me. I've never seen him turning on the television at home.

Since the day I moved in, I was the only one who watched the television. Maybe he rarely eats at home because he has no time to cook, he had a boring life.

I unfolded the blanket and put it nicely on him. "Goodnight." I whispered so that I won't wake him up. How can someone look so handsome even when they're sleeping?

I wrapped my cardigan tightly around my body as I've started to shiver out of coldness. Leaving him alone, I made my way inside the house. My feet ceased the second I heard Taeyong was gasping.

I turned to have a look, he was chilling his body up. I quickly approached him. His eyes remain closed but he was shivering, maybe he was cold too?

I placed my left hand's palm on his forehead and my right palm on mine. He was burning, my forehead wasn't as hot as his. He had a hot fever, since when he got this fever?

I ran inside to get a bowl of water and handkerchief then I went back to him. I slowly lifted up his head and rested it on my lap. I folded the handkerchief and got it wet before put it on his forehead.

My hand stopped right on top of his face. My eyes were too focused in observing his handsome face that I didn't realize I forgot to squeeze the wet handkerchief first. The water ended up dripping on his face. "Oh my god."

I moved aside the handkerchief and tried to hold my breath since Taeyong was moving all of a sudden. I didn't make noise, wishing he won't open his eyes.

But he did, anyway. I'm dead.

He was looking up, straight into my eyes. His deep staring without words made me staring back in delusion. It was so sweet that he was looking up to me and I was looking down to him.

 I was falling deeper into his eyes that I forgot he was still resting his head on my lap. Realizing him moved his hand, I've finally broke  the staring contest between us. 

I cleared my throat and lifted my head up, my hand was flattening my a bit messy hair. I put the handkerchief in the bowl, waiting for him to move his head so I could stand up and leave. I was still mad at him, I can't easily let him cool down my madness.

I couldn't help but lower down my ego every time he talk or look at me, he always win over my feeling. Maybe it was normal to give up on your ego when it comes to love stuffs.

He didn't move his head but stay still staring at me. "Can you stay here a bit longer?"