/ / F A L L I N G F A S T / /

/ / E L E V E N / /

~You treat this like a game but it's my heart,

and it's breaking all because of you; the hourglass is running out and you're still trying to fill it up,

but I've lost hope, you should too.~

Skylars POV

My heart dropped when I saw Matty open the door to find Doug and Kate standing there. Doug was keeping his balance on the door handle, and Kate's arm. Kate had this worried look on her face, and she grabbed Doug as he almost fell into the house. Matty backed up, knowing there was no way he was going to keep him out without a drunken fight.

"I am so sorry Skylar, he wouldn't sleep until he saw you I couldn't do anything," Kate kept rambling on about how she was sorry, and how she tried to stop him and blah blah blah. I tuned her out and watched Doug and Matty.

"Skylar how can you leave me for this guy? You know I can treat you better than him, I love you! He doesn't love you Skylar!" He was slurring his words so they were almost undecipherable. I could understand him though, I was used to his drunk speak.

"You want me to get rid of him Sky?" Matty whispered in my ear while Doug turned and cried into Kate's arm.

"No, let me handle him. I'll have to at some point and time anyways." I made my way over to Doug and placed my hand on his shoulder. "Come on. Let's talk." He walked with me outside as Matty protectivly moved to the front window.

"What do you want Doug." I asked with such annoyance that he clamed down a bit.

"I want to know how you could leave me for him. I want to know why you could leave me, because I gave you everything I worshiped you Skylar." His voice was raised as I crossed my arms. I wasn't scared anymore. I was tired of this. I wasn't scared anymore, I had Matthew.

"You really don't get it. You never made time for me Doug, you spent all your time at parties or Kate's I mean we all figured out that you were cheating on me with her alright? Give it up. Don't you see what's happened to us? We don't work anymore. Don't tell me I left you because I loved you and you betrayed me. You beat me leaving me with what? Nothing but scars. I don't love people the same. I don't trust people because of you. I've finally found someone who treats me like a human being, and you're trying to ruin this for me. The thing is Doug that, I'm not going to let you. You can't use me anymore, I'm tired of your lies!" By now I was screaming and Doug was standing silent in front of me, with a confused look.

"You think you're going to find that person in him, Skylar? Look at him, you can't possibly think that-" His voice was soft but I cut him off quickly.

"Yes Doug! Yes I do! I think of him as the perfect person for me! You have to realize that no matter what we had in the past whatever that was, it's over it's completly gone, and I am never looking back at that!" I was stressing every syllable, I probably looked crazy the way my face was cringing and my hands were out in front of me, squeezing the air. "I'm happy with this life Doug! He makes me happy, can't you just let me have that?!" Even in his hazy state I think it go through to him that he would need to get over this.

"I hope you're happy then." He said quietly with a drawl as he walked back inside to get Kate then left. I was still pacing around the yard my hand covering my mouth, with slight tears in my eyes as I watched them leave. I heard the door click shut and I knew Matty was here.

"You did what was right, love. I'm so proud of you, that you finally stood up to him." He wrapped me in his arms and I cried. After a couple minutes I pulled away and did the only thing I could at the time.

"I'm gonna go for a quick drive." I said.

"Okay, do you want me to come with you? It's okay if you say no." He smiled a small tired smile. I knew that even if I said yes he would've needed sleep. It was getting late anyways, and I wanted to be alone for a while so I told him I'd be back soon and not to worry, I wasn't going to do anything stupid.

I grabbed my keys and started my car slowly. I drove for a while in silence, not knowing where I was going. I stopped in a car pooling lot by the airport. I turned on the radio and I heard a very fimilar chord being played. I couldn't recognize it at first so I turned it up and I listened for a while. I finally recalled that it was New York State of Mind by Billy Joel. It was my moms favorite song. I sat there and listened remembering the way she used to turn on the radio outside on the deck with a glass of wine. I'd come out and she'd pick me up and dance with me to slow piano music. I would fall asleep like that, quite often. I remembered listening to Piano Man by Billy Joel while my best friends Jake and Joel would run around the basement throwing plastic balls from the ball pit downstairs. I never got to say goodbye to them before I moved. I missed them every so often.

I picked at my green, black, and gold woven bracelet that they had given me as a birthday present. I felt a waterfall of tears being held back behind my eyelids as I shut them tightly and tried to time travel. It's cruel irony, that when we're little all we want to do is grow up and we dream about the future; but then when we get older all we want to do is go back to being a little kid. Life is full of irony and tricks, all you can do is try to work through them the best you can.

That's what I tried to do as I looked at that bracelet covering scars that I had made at an early time, hoping that I wouldn't be living by now. I smiled, only because I knew that if I had succeeded with that I wouldn't have bonded with Sam, or even met him. I wouldn't have met Matt either. On the other hand I wouldn't have had to face all the issues with Doug and my dad, but that all needs to be forgotten. I seemed to forget, how to forget, but that was normal.

After I found a stray napkin in my center council I wiped my eyes and took a deep breath. I just had to remember that everything was okay now. Even though I still had those depressing thoughts every once and a while, that was normal. Everyone gets sad sometimes, and that's okay. It's human. I just had to hold my head up and think that maybe, just maybe, if I hold my head high enough I can reach her. Just for a little while.