Conquering Love over Lust

Kabanata 40

He's smiling like nothing happened after all these years. Napaismid ako at walang kangiti-ngiting nilapitan siya. Why would Mom let this guy fetch me in the airport? Anong klaseng pambobola ang ginawa niya para mabilog  at makuha ang loob ng nanay ko. Anyway, he always have his way through people. That's part of his charisma.

"Attorney..." I addressed him with formality. 

 I used to call him that with adoration as an endearment. Because Randell Manansala is a fu***** lawyer! A gagong lawyer to be specific. 

He's my dream guy when I was sixteen. Ang aga kong naglandi, alright. That's what teenagers do when feeling  unloved. And I really thought he's my savior from misery, the person whom I thought can fulfill that love I've been longing and looking for. Akala ko lang pala.

I acted like a civilized person. Dahil masaya na ako sa lovelife ko and Sai has already compensated every pain I suffered from the past, I moved on. Maybe okay na din ito para sa closure. Saka mas okay yong wala na akong inaalagaang sama ng loob sa ibang tao. I am not angry anymore. What done is done. Living in the bitterness of the past might only sour the future. I just hope he already changed.

Lumapit pa siya sa akin at tinitigan ako sa mukha na para bang may hinahanap kung may nagbago sa mukha ko. He took my luggage. I still look the same. Lalo na ngayong mahaba na ulit yong buhok ko. Mas gumanda at nagmature lang. Ganoon yata talaga kapag may nag-aalaga. As for me, it's alagang Sai with tender care and love. And kaunting dilig na din. Lol.

Akma niya akong hahalikan sa pisngi nang umilag ako. I lift up my hand and show him the back of my fingers. Sa laki ng dyamante ng singsing, bulag na lang siya kung hindi pa niya makita at malaman ang gusto kong iparating.

"You're engage?" Gulat niyang tanong. I saw him smirk. Tumango ako.

"I see. I'm getting divorce." Nagulat ako sa sinabi niya pero hindi ko na ipinahalata. So? Ano ngayon?

"Share mo lang?"

"I thought you wanna know." He even smiled like we're good friends again. Not staying angry and mad of what he did doesn't mean we're back to being friends and close again.

"I'm getting married. You're getting divorced. That's life. I found my happiness. And you-"

"I lost mine, seven years ago." He said in a lonely, regretful voice. I slowly look at him before looking up. My eyes got misty. Kumurap-kurap ako. We're like the perfect couple. Noon. That's why my friends are so envious of me. Dami pa ngang nagtangkang umahas sa kanya, eh. Walang nagtagumpay. I thought it was something to celebrate. Yon pala kasi may main dish na siya, yong asawa niya. May side dish na din, at ako 'yon. So, ano pang hahanapin niya?

Hindi na ako nagkomento nang magsimula niyang paandarin yong kotse. I sat on the passenger's seat. He didn't change car. The car reminds me of my wildness when I was still a teen, curious and wanting to explore a lot of things.

"I'm glad you came back." He said trying to start a conversation. Hindi na ako komontra pa tungkol sa pagsundo niya sa akin.  I'm tired from my flight at gusto kong magpahinga na.