Technical Error

Chapter Eighteen

Feet: Let's Rub Them

The wait, the journey from point A to point B, was always the worst part of it all. It allowed the mind to wander over anything horrible that could happen. It let you remember the past mistakes and hurts. You mentally chastised yourself for thinking such things. You had made up your mind to give him this second chance! Since he had returned from the defeat on Starkiller Base, he had been less cruel to you. More humbled, you noted once more. He was less arrogant, and it caused you to wonder if he sometimes was cruel to others in order to protect himself. Everyone had their own insecurities, didn't they? And Supreme Leader Snoke had been explicit in how he viewed weaknesses in his apprentice. Chastising the man. Using you, someone Kylo Ren had a semblance of a connection with, as a weapon against the Commander. A tool. A pawn. It did not make what he had done in the past any better, but you truly did understand why he had felt the need to push you away while also pulling you towards him.

That understanding was why you did not pause in your steps, even when they slowed on occasion. You were telling yourself that you would hold back any emotional attachments. If Kylo Ren was willing to truly improve as a person, you could have an arrangement with him the same as you had had with General Hux.

Stormtroopers left you alone. This hardly surprised you; first, you did not pass by too many when you walked, and secondly, you were on the Supremacy. Though technicians were still fair game even aboard this vessel, personnel tended to avoid causing much of a scene where the Supreme Leader would punish them. Death would be a blessing in that case. Sure, you had heard stories of Snoke using the Force against others to chastise them. Even General Hux had been such a victim. After experiencing it firsthand, however, you were far more apt to believe it all.

The fact that you were not interrupted by others was fine with you. More than fine. If Snoke was cruel, Kylo Ren's outbursts were just as bad. Not that they would be directed at you in this case. But, stars above, you knew that it would alert Snoke to....

Supreme Leader Snoke had to already know that you and Kylo Ren were meeting. He would not interfere—unless it proved to disrupt Kylo Ren's training, and that would occur only if the pair of you were caught.

No mistakes, you reminded yourself, echoing the phrase your Commander had been telling you.

Both of you were damn good at your jobs. Mistakes, while those happened, needed to be as minimal in number as possible. Which is why you looked behind you, left then right before touching the panel that caused the door to the agreed-upon room to open. You ducked inside. You did not have the opportunity to seal the room; the door slammed shut behind you. Immediately you felt the hairs on the backs of your arms rising. You had known that Kylo Ren would already be here. To be so eager? Okay... You had suspected he would be like this.

He was standing on the opposite side of the room. Ren's back was against the wall, and his helmet was already removed. Your eyes ran along his face, trailing up and down the wound on his face. He seemed almost self-conscious about it, the man's lips twitching as though he wanted to tell you off. Unlike before, however, he held in his words. You dropped your gaze to the ground. Neither of you said anything. The silence lingered, growing thicker as the tension that always existed between the two of you began to once more build.

Kylo Ren pushed off the wall, took a step in your direction, and then paused. You jerked your eyes up again. They were wide. It was the first indication that while, yes, you were excited for this, you were also nervous. The incident with Snoke on the Command Shuttle left you feeling more uneasy than you had realized. You feared that Kylo Ren would use the Force to touch you; were afraid that it would bring forth the memories of the disgust and shame. He had to feel this, to know this.