Humans Are Space Orcs

Bruises & Announcement!

What if humans are the only species that gets "mystery" bruises? How weird would it be to aliens that we can sustain an injury that leaves a mark lasting days or sometimes weeks, but don't remember where it came from?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Humans are already terrifying enough, but then it gets injuries like contusions (which is deadly to several species mind you) and it doESN'T EVEN KNOW WHY?!?

At first, the interspecies council thinks it's a joke. Yes, it has already been established that a human just plain won't die (with very few exceptions like decapitation) and contusions aren't that dangerous for most species. That it's be unsuccessful in killing a human wasn't surprising, but that they sometimes don't even know how they've gotten the contusion? No, that has to be a joke.

It's ruled as another myth until a member of the council travels on a ship with a few human crew-members. Trofaxiq the Elder had taken a stroll around the ship a few days into the voyage when he heard two humans talking.

"Maybe you walked into something?" The tall, highly pigmented one said, inspecting something on the slightly shorter, less pigmented one.

"Yeah, you know I'm clumsy, but the positions weird, isn't it?" The shorter one said, looking at their own appendage.

"So maybe you got it in your sleep?" The tall one suggested as the short onw spotted Trofaxiq the Elder and jabbed its appendage into their fellow human's sternum. A less experienced Froentir would have mistaken it for an attack, but Trofaxiq the Elder knew enough about human behavior to know it was called a 'nudge' and was socially acceptable.

After the normal exchange of greetings and pleasantries, Trofaxiq the Elder eventually asked the humans what they had been discussing. The tall one, Fatima, said the short one, Lucia, had gotten a bruise, but couldn't remember how. Unsure what a bruise was, Trofaxiq the Elder asked, but quickly came to wish they hadn't as they saw the large contusion on the human's appendage.

Less than one rotation later,  the human guide had been updated, and a suggestion had been made to add a classification so they could mark humans down as more dangerous than the previous, "Extremely dangerous, do not approach in the wild."

The only problem was how useful humans could be to expeditions. In the end, the suggestion wasn't passed, to the worry of many council members.

Found on Tumblr by ainawgsd & what-are-even-humans

(• ε •)(• ε •)(• ε •)(• ε •)(• ε •)(• ε •)(• ε •)(• ε •)(• ε •)(• ε •)(• ε •)

Hello Beans! I have decided to another one of these, except featured in the Harry Potter Universe! I have no idea how many I'm going to make or how often I will update, but, I will always update either story if ya'll just ask!

Enjoy!

-Author Bean