Humans Are Space Orcs

Scents & Vests

An alien decides to 'court' another alien, of the race called humans. The human is desirable in every way: talented in multiple skills, professional and domestic, with soft, squishy flesh and an eagerness to learn - the alien could go on and on, but people complain when the alien talks about their 'crush', as other humans call it.

The problem is, the aliens' species rely on scents and pheromones for communication. Their first meeting with the human was during a crisis, and their natural scent was strong, sweat mixing with that fabled human instinct to survive with all members of their extended pack alive, too. No other human smelled quite like this one. It sent the alien's hearts a-flutter and shivers through their many wings.

But now? The human smells different, and not in a normal way. One week, citrus and palm fruits from the black jungles of the planet Cerib. Another week, exotic vanilla from their origin planet, with something warm and spicy they alien can't place. Lavender and honey from Blackcurrant bees. Something juicy like apples. Something this, something that, and they're all beautiful scents - but it's not the human's scent, and they can't really smell their emotions through it. Frustrating.

One day, the alien sulks, watching their desired one rush past, tablet in hand. They smell like sweetened coffee and chocolate - the latter, a romantic treat to humans, and a reminder of how far they are from that romance to the alien. The human next to them breathes in the scent and smiles.

"Man, Justine's got some great perfume on today," they say.

The alien lifts their head. "Perfume?"

A little research later, and things suddenly make sense. They'd heard about perfume before, the human wasn't the only one to wear scents, but they'd been so lovelorn they hadn't used their brain. But that wasn't important. What mattered was that humans used perfume and similar products to draw in desired partners.

Two can play at that game.

Three days later, the alien walks into their normal location. To their surprise, the human their hearts are set on rushes towards, calling their name.

"I'm so sorry!" They apologize. They aren't wearing any scents today. "I didn't realize my perfume might be messing with your senses. I've switched it out with another type that you'll find easier to deal with. I was just trying to... "

They trail off. The alien waits, hopeful. A new scent spikes from the human.

"Is that... Cinnamon?" Justine asks.

"With a little bit of Ophelion flower and Soljoiner lemon," the alien says, smiling as the humans do. "I got inspired by your choices." A hesitation. "Do you like it?"

Justine breathes in deep. From them, now the alien can sense what they've wanted. Interest.

"You smell amazing," Justine says. The glow in their eyes as they look at the alien, well, the alien adds that to their list of all the reasons they want Justine as a partner.

"Are you sure you know what you're getting into?" Another alien asks later, at the communal garden. "Humans are hardcore."

The alien looks across the way to the human of their hearts. They are smiling, they smell a bit like the alien now, from their hug.

"For that one? It's worth it."

Found on tumblr by coffeewritesfiction

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"Can I pet your dog?"

If his species could roll their eyes, he would have. He was engrossed in his tablet - simply overhearing this conversation between two humans - but he was familiar with the dog in question.

He had seen the dog on this ship on many different days these past few months. The alien certainly wished he could run his three fingers against the impressively curly fur.

However, humans have politely informed him why it was important to never touch an animal on duty. So he knew better. You would think their own planet's kind would know better as well.

Besides, "Do Not Pet" was clearly written on the ve-

"Yes!"

The alien looked up at that.

The human who had questioned this was delightfully petting the fuzzy creature. The orange vest the animal normally wore wasn't present today.

"I'm sorry, I thought we could never pet service animals?" he said. He set the tablet down to bring his full attention to this.

"When he wears his vest, he's on duty," the human owner pointed out. "But he doesn't need to wear his vest today!"

He wasn't aware that animals could be "off duty." But, as he considered it, it did make sense.

"Then can I... pet...?"

"Go right ahead!"

His antennas perked at the confirmation.

He happily crouched by the dog to show his appreciation for the hard worker. The animal, in turn, was very pleased to see him!

Since then, whenever on the ship, he would be wary if the dog wore a vest or not. And even without a vest, he was always sure to ask first.

Found on tumblr by nerdybluephoenix