Humans Are Space Orcs

Humans are space orcs, revisited

!!!TRIGGER WARNING!!!

Mentions of Auschwitz, Hiroshima, and other historical tragedies

!!!YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!

When Terrans first made contact with the rest of the galaxy, the other advanced beings of the galaxy made a request to study Human history. Purely in the interests of understanding, to be sure. When they got permission, they sent in a group of historian-archivists- with backgrounds in espionage. The best way to learn any civilization's weakness, of course, is to study it in depth. The 'historians' (spies) are flabbergasted to be given free access to the entire planet's libraries and an unholy, horrifying, unregulated pit of information, misinformation, and bickering that they call the 'internet

It takes the historians several weeks to realize that the internet and most of the libraries are open to all. Anyone who desires can access the information. ANY OF IT. There are directions on how to build their worst terror weapons, available to any and all who want to bother looking it up, in all their libraries and their 'internet'. Anyone at all can build them, given the proper materials.

They take a day off to discuss this, then go back to work.

Terrorism. This is a disturbing concept to the historians.

They have to take a week off when they get to the invasions of Russia. The humans WIPED OUT THEIR OWN SUPPLIES to keep the other side form getting it. The concept of "scorched Earth" requires another week off.

Then they get to Auschwitz, to Hiroshima, to Stalin and Mao and Pol-Pot.

They tell their hosts thank you, as politely as possible. They have learned all they need. They obey any and all diplomatic protocols they have been given, and are as polite as the can possibly be. They wish they had more rules to follow, more directives for how to behave so as not to anger of offend.

As soon as they are off-world, they send an alert. Terra is on the Permission Only list, to be visited be invitation or not at all. Humans individually are to be treated with caution and all known good manners. No one is sure what they are capable of and do not want to find out. their history is full of remarkable individuals in all fields including warfare.

Across the galaxy, human scientists and explorers wonder why all of a sudden, everyone has gotten so NICE. they shrug, and go try to figure out the next interesting thing.

-Found on Tumblr by samuriknitter