Humans Are Space Orcs

Hugs, Too Friendly, & Swimming

So human babies REALLY need to be touched. It's totally critical for development. Small babies can literally die if you don't cuddle them enough.

But imagine that the aliens are more like reptiles, in that they just sort of hatch and the parents feed them or stay around (and presumably, like, educate them, since they're intelligent aliens,) but don't carry them around or cuddle in the same way.

So one of them gets stuck with a human baby that they're responsible for and of course, they go ask a xenobiologist of someone "what do you do for a human baby, they're all weird and squishy".

And the scientist says: Well, you have to stroke them. Like actually [pick them up and stroke their skin.

Why says the alien, what could that possibly accomplish. Does it make their skin tougher? Will they grow proper scales?

No, no, that's just what human skin is like, you just... you have to stroke them or they won't grow right. They get a stroking deficiency and can die.

Found on Tumblr by dendritic-trees

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It occurs to me that as much as "humans are the scary ones" fits sometimes if you look at it another way, humans might seem like the absurdly friendly or curious ones.

I mean, who looked at an elephant, a gigantic creature thoroughly capable of killing someone if it has to, and thought, "I'm gonna ride on that thing!"?

And put a human near any canine predator and there's a strong chance of said human yelling, "PUPPY!" and initiating playful interaction with it.

And what about the people who look at whales, bigger than basically everything else, and decide "I'm gonna swim with our splashy danger friends!"

Heck, for all we know, humans might run into the scariest, toughest aliens out there and say, "Heck with it. I'm gonna hug 'em."

"Why?!"

"I dunno. I gotta hug 'em."

And it's like the first friendly interaction the species has had in forever so suddenly humanity has a bunch of big scary friends.

Found on Tumblr by radioactivepeasant

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What if humans are the only species able to swim in water for extended amounts of time? Like, other species can get into water, but after a while, but after a while, the water starts doing something to them, and they have to get out.

So, aliens land on this planet that's made up of mostly water, warning their crew to stay away from the wet blue substance unless it's an emergency, they have a human crewmate who loved to swim back on Earth, so, hearing that this planet was made up of mostly water like Earth, they're quite excited.

When they get off the ship on some solid land, they make sure that everyone is with them, only to find that the human is missing.

After a couple minutes of panic, they hear some splashing and rush to the edge of the water, watching the human splashing and playing happily in the water.

This, of course, worried the aliens greatly. Their human was bound to be getting hurt soon, but none of them could risk their lives to save it.

"Human-Steve! Get out of the water!" The commander, Glarin exclaims.

"Why? Is it time to leave?" Human-Steve asks, and Glarin hints at some disappointment in the human's voice. "We just got here! Can't I have a little more time in the water?"

Glarin looks at the human confused and worried. "If you stay in the water, Human-Steve, you'll surely get hurt."

"Like a cramp or something?" Human-Steve asks.

"N-No! Your skin will melt off!" Glarin exclaimed while the rest of his crew agreed from behind him.

"What?" Human-Steve asked, "This is only saltwater! The only harm this could give me is getting sand stuck everywhere, and my eyes hurting."

This alarmed Glarin, "Will your eyes melt off?" He asked, extremely worried.

"No! They'll just get irritated."

"So... Nothing melts?" Glarin asks.

"No," Human-Steve answered. "Water is harmless, it's fun!"

"Fun?"

"Yeah!"

When they boarded the ship after exploring, Human-Steve went to his chamber and dried off, coming out perfectly fine. The aliens, however, were still extremely confused on how Human-Steve was able to survive 3 human hours in the water.

Found on Tumblr by Its-not-a-natural