Outside of Fear

Prologue

"I need another pair of hands in here!" Meredith shouts to the nearest surgeon on her team, her words echoing through the medical tent. "Altman, move your ass!"

"Give me a minute, Grey!" Teddy snaps back. "A humvee just pulled up, I'll see what they got."

Meredith rolls her eyes, returning her attention to the soldier on the table in front of her. Beads of sweat roll down her forehead and back as she breathes heavily into her surgical mask.

The heat in Iraq is sweltering, and it doesn't help that she's constantly running between injured soldiers.

The man on the table is a mess and Meredith is beyond stressed. This isn't a new feeling though. Almost every single day for the past seven years, save for forced medical leave and time between deployments,  of her life has been like this.

She wouldn't trade it for the world. With the adrenaline, the rush, the high, Meredith can literally see the difference she's making as she saves life after life.

"Fuck!" Meredith growls, chasing after a piece of shrapnel deep in the open abdomen with her clamp.

More sweat rolls down her face. There's one scrub nurse by her side, but they don't have enough supplies to waste them on dabbing sweat off the surgeon's forehead.

"Got it!" She announces triumphantly to no one in particular, digging with her gloved hands through the open, bloody, disastrous body cavity.

She's a certified general surgeon- or that's what she was before she joined the military. Over here it's all trauma. Damage control comes first, especially with the circumstances and amount of patients they're getting.

There will never be enough doctors in Iraq. Never. Her medical unit is always understaffed and so are their supplies. Having worked her way up to Colonel, Meredith runs the whole show in this medical tent.

This medical tent has been her home for years. Maybe not this specific one, but tents like these all over war-torn countries.

She remembers the feeling of a regular OR back in the United States so many years ago. God, sometimes she longed for that. The shit setup here is the best they can do with what they got, and it's practically a dump compared to a real hospital.

It doesn't matter if it's fancy though. What matters is practicality. Or that's what Meredith says. So that's the way she runs it. Nothing is wasted, ever.

It's all hands on deck right now. After a large explosion a few miles away, many soldiers have been brought to her tent for emergency treatment before the air support gets here to take them to actual hospitals.

Surgeons on her team bounce back and forth between patients, saving whoever's off the worst first.

The ground shakes beneath her for a moment and Meredith stops, glancing around.

The tent has no windows near her, so she doesn't know why she does. Also, it's pretty common for things to shake around when there are explosions nearby.

When the ground stops, she continues her work, desperately trying to sort out the organs that are misshapen and all in the wrong places.

This is George O'Malley on the table. One of her oldest friends. They grew up together. Actually, she lost her virginity to him back in high school.

They were never meant to be, but Meredith and George had become good friends. He enlisted just before she did.

Which made the situation all-around much worse. She knows better than anyone by now that you can't save them all. In fact, oftentimes you lose more than you save.

George's chances are looking slim, even with the Meredith Grey operating.

Where is another damn surgeon? She needs help. Meredith turns around to call for Altman or anyone again, her breath catching in her throat and freezing when she hears the screams.

The screams, followed by the explosion. And another. And another. Explosions she's come to know are RPGs.

Not a millisecond later, she's throwing herself over the open body on the table as the bomb alarm screams. Little late for that alarm.

The impact from the blast reaches her as another bomb lands close enough to the tent that she can see it. Meredith is thrown through the air, and everything goes black.

"Grey!" A voice screams, faintly reaching Meredith's ears. "Grey!"

"Fuck, Meredith!" Major Dr. Teddy Altman sprints across the open sand towards her comrade.

Meredith forces her eyes open, and the first thing she's aware of is pain. Pain everywhere, radiating through her body.

She tries to take in a ragged breath, her eyes darting around as everything comes flooding back. She can't move.

"Mer, can you hear me?" Teddy demands, reaching Meredith and falling to her knees to look at her injuries.

Meredith glances at Teddy, gasping for breath. She turns her head a bit more, and her gaze finds something behind Teddy.

George. Or what used to be George. Now all that's left is...gore.

Meredith moves her eyes away, the pain unbearable. She doesn't even know what's hurting so badly.

Teddy is working intently above her, soon joined by another surgeon she vaguely recognizes from her team.

Dizziness clouds Meredith's vision, and before she can try to clear it her breath stops coming.

Meredith coughs, sending more pain, and she doesn't know why she's surprised she can taste blood.

More of the sticky liquid fills her mouth and she continues to cough, using oxygen she doesn't have. It's choking her. She's suffocating.

"Pneumothorax, give me a chest tube!" Teddy demands. Meredith senses more people around her now, but darkness is already creeping in her vision.

"Stay awake, Grey!" Teddy yells again. "Stay with us!"

Losing consciousness in this situation would be signing her death certificate, and Meredith knows it. But she's growing weaker by the second as blood trails down her face.

Stabbing pain in the side of her chest, followed by sweet oxygen allows her to take a deep, gasping, breath. Teddy got the chest tube in.

The relief from oxygen is short-lived, as more blood gurgles in the back of Meredith's throat and she allows her head to fall back on the sand, staring into the sky. The sun beats down on them, as usual, but the pain is unbearable.

Despite Teddy's best efforts, shouting, shaking, Meredith gives up, letting darkness take over once again.