Bygones

~{Chapter 29}~

~

"You look better," Clarke quietly said as I started to wake up. I sat up and moaned.
"Take it easy; you're not completely healed yet."
I looked around the room to see Raven, Bellamy, Octavia, and Finn sprawled out, sleeping soundly.
"How's the situation going?" I whispered, trying not to wake anyone up.
"So far, they don't know yet. It's been a day already and no signs of them. More guards are now on duty at all times."
Guilt came over me when I heard about this.
"You did you're best," she placed her hand on my arm, as if she could feel what I felt.
"Clarke I have the stuff you- Sloan!" Jasper walked into the medical with a bowl. He galloped over to me and hugged me tightly.
"Hey," I whispered and laughed.
He noticed everyone sleeping and handed Clarke the bowl.
"What's that?" I strained my neck as the bowl passed in front of me.
"Herb soup. Lincoln insisted you drink this. He said it tastes better than it looks."
She handed me it and I looked at it. As I figured, it was brown and murky looking.
"Drink," Jasper nodded as he grabbed a chair.
"So what's the plan? How do we get around this?" I lifted the bowl to my mouth.
"Believe it or not, someone volunteered to have a baby. A woman around Jasper's age. Her name's Kay," Clarke sat down next to Jasper.
"Mm-" I finished the last few sips with my eye brows furrowed in disgust, "Is she sure about this? I mean it's tough, speaking from experience."
Jasper took the bowl and handed me my canteen. I swished the water in my mouth several times.
"My mother has been talking to her about the different possible stages in her pregnancy and possible defects..."
"Will it work is the question," Jasper sat forward with elbows on his knees.
"It will, but we could end up losing two lives instead of one."
We sighed and thought about other solutions while the four sleeping stirred.
"I want to talk to her," I finally said.
"I'll bring her here," Clarke said, already going.
"No wait," I pushed the covers off of my legs and swung them over the side of the stretcher, "I'll go."
"You can't walk just yet," Clarke whispered firmly.
I stood up and put my shoes and and walked over to her.
"Thank you, Clarke, but it's my responsibility to make sure my mistake doesn't cost any lives."
She nodded and led me and Jasper to Kay.
"Where's Monty?" I asked Jasper on the way to the MT.
"He's taking over Raven's shift. Nothing over the radios still."

"So you're the one," Kay eyed me with wide eyes, "So what are we here for?"
"To talk about your brave gesture," I sat across from her, "I'm sure that Abby has told you about everything you need to know."
"Yes she did. So what's the problem? Am I not able to get pregnant? Because if that's the case then I-"
"Kay," I took her jittery hands into mine and slowly said, "You are physically capable of doing this. But the question is are you emotionally capable of doing this?"
"Yes." She was certain.
I let go of her hands and asked, "Do you know what happens after you have this baby?"
She seemed kind of sad, "I... I have to give it up."
"Don't worry, you have a month with it before you have to do that. I'm only asking because I don't want you to be crushed when it's the time. Bonds and connections happens between parents and children and those bonds are sometimes hard to give up."
I thought of Leyla.
"How were you going to handle it?"
I paused, "... Honestly, I didn't know for sure. All I knew was this baby would still be alive, so would we. And because of him he would save the human race. That was all I focused on."
It was quiet, but the emotions were everywhere inside of me. I could see the same feelings in Kay's eyes as well.
"If you could've done it, I know I can too. As long as my baby gets to have a future, whether it's with me or another caregiver, then it's all worth it."
We both smiled and had a few tears run down our cheeks.
"Um," Jasper cleared his throat and said sheepishly, "I don't mean to interrupt, but we have a slight problem..."
Kay's face suddenly dropped, "Oh... I almost forgot..."
"Forgot what?" I glanced at Jasper and then her.
"No one is willing to be the other partner," Clarke crossed her arms and stood near us.
"Well... Then maybe-" I stuttered in befuddlement.
"We've asked around, but no one seems up for having a kid that's not going to be their's," Kay said unenthused.
"At least we have half of a solution. I'm sure if we talked to some we can get them considering," I nodded.
"Sloan," Clarke notion to go outside.
"I know what you're thinking. The plan isn't going to work. I think the same," I quietly said as soon as we stepped outside.
"Monty and Raven are making up a plan right now with Bellamy and Jaha as well as Kane and my mother."
I nodded, "We should let her down easy. I recognize her. Her mother beg my mother long ago to find a solution for her... low chances of fertility... We couldn't find a cure..."
We both agreed on it and I went back in. I told Kay that I would let her know anything as soon as possible.
"Promise?" she had a desperate look as she held onto my hand.
"I can try," I sincerely said.