Wrest Pin | The Mandalorian

Chapter Twenty-Six: The Interlude IV

Warning: Warning: This chapter is very mature and also Evangeline experiences some dissociating in connection with shock, so please be safe if this is something you feel will hurt you!

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When she woke up, her brain was in a fog.

It was dark, besides the dim light overhead and she sat up with a quiet whimper, her body aching. She was still wearing the dress, the soft silk holding her inside of her body, but another part of her felt like she was on the outside looking in. As if she wasn't herself, not truly. Her mind had wavered somewhere in there – somewhere in looking at the hole in mother's head and the man that was handless. Somewhere in the darkness of seeing her family, and being alone in that broken in-between place. Like someone had dug a blade into her, had twisted it mercilessly and she felt numb...But the brokenness was sharp, like edges of glass inside of her and she sat there, staring at the wall a few moments...Eyes burning and face blank. As if the world had somehow become nothing more than a shell.

Her heart wasn't racing anymore, and she felt no distress from being inside of herself. Not like before, when everything felt unforgiving and like both of them were going to die. Now all was the same, but her mind couldn't connect two-and-two and she felt a heaviness she didn't recognize. It wasn't like the grief she had felt after their murders, it wasn't fear, it was like nothing...And she couldn't decide if it was worse or better.

There was a pulling on her arm, painful and she looked down. The IV that she vaguely recalled Din putting into her skin was there and Evangeline took it, pulling it from herself with a quiet hiss slipping past her lips. She dropped it to the floor, soundlessly, and she looked over. Din was sleeping...Chest rising and falling, and Evangeline's emotionless face slowly turned to the door before she pushed herself to her feet. She nearly fell over, steadying herself with a hand on the mattress as she approached it. It was like looking down at her own body, disconnected from everything and everyone and she pressed the button that would open the ramp, only for the sound to startle Din into a sitting position on the bed. She heard him sit up with a grunt of surprise, but she just stared at the door, lips parted slightly...It was as if she knew what was happening, but she couldn't quite make the connections within herself...And she could only think of the bleeding, the man that was handless because of her, and the way to keep it away was this void opening in her.

"Evangeline."

Her name was spoken with thick sleep behind it, but concern was there too as she heard him stand. She didn't turn to face him as he made his way over to her, quickly reaching around her to press the button again, stopping the ramp as it lowered and sending it back up for the door to shut. She still stared at the wall, face expressionless as he questioned, "What are you doing?"

Evangeline said nothing. Maybe she did in her thoughts, but her mouth wouldn't move. Her eyes blinked and she still didn't look at him as he grabbed her arms, and pulled her to face him. He stepped too close, and Evangeline looked into his eyes finally, acknowledging his presence but she still could say nothing...Still could show nothing on her face. She felt cold...And she wondered in the barricades behind the prison inside of her if she was in shock. People went into shock sometimes, but she couldn't get that point across to him in her state. He gave her one hard shake, and he was saying something muffled as she tried to push past the wall that wouldn't let her communicate with him, in that mourning without emotion...

"Hey," He was panicking, she could tell as he shook her again, but then released her arms to cradle her face, tilting her head up to gather her attention, "Answer me. What are you doing?"

She couldn't. She couldn't speak as she blinked at him...Maybe she just wasn't ready, her voice gone and maybe inside of the marred man, the drugs, her family...And the baby she had risked hurting with her actions. She couldn't even cry. Maybe it was definitely shock...trapping her in silence, as if she wasn't even inside of herself. Din looked confused. And she wanted to tell him about the thoughts and how her body was hurting so much...But she couldn't. She could only stare. Truthfully, she hadn't known what she was doing, or where she was going. The hands on her face tightened, one moving to push her hair back, tilting her head further as he studied her in the dim light, as if he could find the problem in her eyes. Din murmured, "Talk to me."