AISLIN | I

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

SOME PEOPLE believe that nightmares and dreams have a deeper meaning and that they can symbolize your subconscious emotions.

A bad dream about falling means you feel powerless or out of control, or that you are afraid of failing at something. A nightmare about drowning means you feel overwhelmed by your emotions.

Dreams don't mean anything. Instead, they're your brain pulling random thoughts and imagery from our memories. I never believed any of this dream nonsense, not until the incident.

Even now, I get nightmares. They take my random thoughts, sure, but my memories. That's what scares me the most.

The last thing I need is to relive them over. And over, and over. But my mind has a different plan for me.

I lie awake at night, fearing what will enter my mind the moment I close my eyes. What my body will succumb to when I wake up from my nightmares. More like night terrors. These memories I own and store inside my brain become darker and darker, and at night they show themselves to the light.

Some nights, I don't sleep at all. The thought of what my brain will make me relive scares me. Even though my memories are dark, full of hate, death, and destruction, it makes me stronger every day. I should be used to it by now, but sadly I am not. Instead of dwelling on the darkness, I use this darkness that is stored inside my brain. That's what makes me stronger every single day.

My mother used to say, fear is healthy. I, of course, did not listen. However, it wasn't until the years following the year they died, that I truly began to value all they taught me. For example, nothing that's handed to you in a silver platter is worth having, and nothing worth having will be handed to you. Fight for what you want.

Growing up I took what my parents said into consideration. To this day, I use them. Something my dad taught me was, If you have to fight, hit first. And hit hard. So of course, that's what I do.

I couldn't sleep that night after we found the next clue.

I stayed on the bed that I had been given. My body was tense and I was not moving at all. Behind my head were my hands and my body was straight as I looked at the ceiling. The quiet felt soothing.

I had just one window in the room and I'd only watch the velvet night sky slowly turn around in circles all night long with all its stars. I didn't attempt to move while the sun was rising. I was quiet, listening to the sounds of my breathing, and the silence eloped over me.

But it was not like that at that very moment. When it was morning, of course, and all I could concentrate on was the chatter outside my room. It sounded like a band of people, and it was noisy. I did not, nor did I want to, attempt to leave my room until we were leaving the kingdom of Aberystwyth this morning.

When we returned, I headed straight for the office the queen had provided me, not stopping to speak with no one.

I tighten my grip on the pencil in my hands. No one understood the clue we were given. To them, it was just a bunch of useless words, but for me, I knew exactly what the clue was. I was just too afraid to tell. Memory's arise in my head that I forced back down. Where we had to go to next, was a place I vowed never to return to, but I have to. For the King.

A knock on the door grasped my attention, "Yes?" I called out.

The doors opened slightly and Arius's head popped into view, "You have a visitor ma'am."

I nodded and waved my hand dismissively, "Send them in." I pulled the chair behind me underneath me and sat down at the desk.

The door suddenly busts open, and the queen, princess, and the youngest prince trampled each other as they set foot in the office.

I stood up immediately and bowed, "Queen Aria. Princess Senara. Prince Grey. How may I assist you?"

"Oh dear, no need to be so stiff," The queen said with a dismissing tone, "Please sit!"

I nodded and relaxed as I followed the Queen's orders. I pulled the chair back underneath me and sat. Queen Aria pulled up a chair and sat on the other side of my desk with a pleasing smile, "How is everything going?"

"I wish for things to be a little better, but I'm sure it will be. We got our next clue but none of us can decipher it." I lied.

Prince Grey stuck out his hand, "May I have a look? I might be able to help."

I shook my head, "Help would be lovely, but unfortunately, I cannot. I mean no disrespect by you my Prince, I just wouldn't want to burden you with my job." He nodded understandingly and put his hand down.

"Would you like a break?" Princess Senara asked me.

I chuckled lightheartedly, "Everyone likes a break from time to time, don't they? But unfortunately, I can't afford to take a break. The faster we find the king the better."

"Oh what nonsense!" The queen huffed, "You deserve a break just as the rest of the lot. Which is why I think that this ball is coming at a perfect time."

"Pardon, did you say ball?" I asked confused.

The princess's eyes grew wide and glowed with excitement, "Yes! A ball is being held in a few days! The preparations are already being made!"

"We have one every year. We have them in honor of our kingdom, and our unity with the neighboring lands." The prince explained.

I looked at the queen worrisome, "I mean no disrespect your majesty, but why are you holding a ball when the king is missing?"

She sighed with a heavy expression, "The King's disappearance is a secret amongst the people in our alliance lands. If the words were to spread that the king was missing, one might try to attack us, taking advantage of our weakness. If we continue like nothing is wrong, they won't suspect anything of us. It's simply a cover-up, trust me I would rather do anything else than hold this ball."

I nodded and hummed in understanding.

The princess turned me shyly, "Will you help me pick out my outfit for the ball? And in return, I can pick yours."

Her face was glowing with excitement and happiness, she was eager for my reply. She gave me eyes that I couldn't refuse, "Sure, sounds great."

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Author Note!

Thoughts >

Feelings >

Predictions >

Random >

How is your day today? Was it bad? Good? In between?

QOTD: Favorite thing in nature??

i love the stars and plants! I love my plant babies and the twinkle lights stuck in our sky lol!

Something about plants make me smile and the stars without any light polution are breathtaking. I could care less about the tempura outside, I'll sit and watch the stars for hours.