BILLET-DOUX ✦ CLASSIC ROCK

33 - jimmy page ⁴

For Lovelyritarose ! This is part of the fem!S/O with children universe because this idea absolutely kills me every time I think about it. But if you wanted something separate with a gender neutral
S/O, I can gladly write it, just let me know!
❪❤︎❫
Jimmy had been playing the same tune on his guitar for the past thirty minutes. His fingers had since memorized their positioning on the frets and he rarely had to glance down to see if they were in  the correct spot. Though his hands were moving, Jimmy's mind was at a stand-still, flicking worriedly from one topic to the next.

His hotel room was far enough away from that of his bandmates' that he was gifted an atypical silence. For once, Jimmy didn't want to be a part of the cacophonous noise and partying that was surely taking place two floors beneath him. He'd drank some Jack with Bonzo, but the thought of joining him to pick up groupies was near blasphemous in Jimmy's current state.

What was wrong with him? Even Robert had sent Jimmy a strange look when he announced that he was heading back to his room. They probably thought he was sick. Then again, that hadn't ever stopped Jimmy before. But Jimmy didn't owe them an explanation.

He didn't need to tell them that Y/N and her children had been inhabiting his thoughts since they went on tour. The boys barely remembered
Y/N, and she didn't hang around them very much. Which was perfectly fine with Jimmy. He grew uneasy at the thought of her intermingling with their boozy sin.

You're no better, he told himself with an irritated huff. You used to be drinks and girls all night. What happened?

Jimmy scowled at the tacky green carpeting beneath his bare feet, a chord coming out whining and out of tune. He had tried to act himself on the first days they'd spent in France, hooking up with a pretty blonde bird, but Jimmy couldn't ever give himself wholly to her kisses and ended up leaving early, feeling guilt-ridden and heavy with Y/N's pleading voice.

You can't do this and leave tomorrow.

And isn't that what he ended up doing anyway? After the fated Christmas get-together with Y/N, Jamie and Rose, Jimmy had visited again a few more times before he was carted off on the European tour. Y/N seemed to understand, but she was distant and sad, not even giving Jimmy one last parting kiss.

Jamie's disappointed pout was engrained in the back of Jimmy's brain. Each time he closed his eyes, he saw the little family – his little makeshift family – stare at him with vacant eyes, letting him step out of their lives so easily.

Y/N had opened her life to Jimmy, allowed him to fill that fatherly role that her ex-husband left behind, and he had ended up being no better than his predecessor. God, and for once Jimmy wanted to be part of something that wasn't shallow and self-gratifying.

He wanted to find a home in the softness of Y/N's embrace each night and spend the mornings playing hide and seek with the children. Jimmy wanted to see Rose grow up into an intelligent lady that would break plenty of hearts with her mother's face. He wanted to see Jamie as a teenager, tearing up the town and causing harmless mischief.

Jimmy coaxed out a particularly mournful sound from his guitar, holding the note long enough to allow it to float weightless in the air around him. He wondered what sort of black magic he'd have to conjure in order for this tone to travel across the English Channel and visit Y/N and the kids in their modest flat.