Meaghan Walter and Kate Zimmer

14

Meg's POV

Jerking awake from a nightmare I stumbled away from the person beside me. Although Kate had made me have small hope for the future I woke up in a haze. The thoughts swimming in my head were darker than usual and I knew that I was still gonna have a bad day regardless of what happened through the night. Kate stirred from my outburst but didn't wake up which made me sigh in relief. Grabbing my phone, AirPods, socks, shoes and a hair band I left the room and walked out the front door. Glancing at the time it read 5:48 AM. My mind didn't have a destination but it seemed as though I was on autopilot. The sky was still mostly dark and it was a little windy so I put my hair up in messy bun. Music was blaring in my ears but I barely heard it over my own thoughts. How long was Kate gonna stay? I give it a max of 3 more months before she got sick of my broken life. Kasper was gonna leave I could feel it. Kylie and Kasper had become extremely close and I knew pretty soon she would prioritize Kylie and it was gonna hurt but I would have to deal with it. I was happy that Kasper found the one for her and who was I to try and take her attention away from Kylie. Accepting that she would leave my thoughts turned towards my parents. I loved them both so much but sometimes I felt forgotten. Dad was a lawyer and Mom a businesswoman so it meant they were always traveling. I fully understood that they have to do their jobs but them never being home has had it's effects. Babysitters were always there as a kid which made me feel unwanted. By the time I got to high school I resented both my parents and would get in trouble for their attention. They dealt with me for as long as possible but then Lauren came along. We moved in together and it seemed as though I wasn't their problem anymore. That didn't turn out well if you can't tell. Drowning in my own thoughts I barely realized that I had stopped walking and was in front of a house. Registering the music blasting in my ears I turned it down as I walked around the house and stopped underneath a window. I had done this so many times that I was still on autopilot as I climbed the side of the house and opened the window. Looking in I saw underneath the window was clean so I quietly jumped down. Sam didn't even stir as I walked over to the couch in their room and plopped down on it. My eyes gazed around the room and the familiarity made me have a sense of security. There was a TV mounted on the wall and the couch I was laying on faced it. Sam's bed was behind the couch and there was a small walk in closet to the right. Posters and paintings littered the walls and their LED lights were turned red. My eyes stopped as I noticed one of the paintings looked familiar. When I first started therapy the doctor told me to paint what I felt. At first I thought it was stupid but as I started the drawing I felt all my feelings go onto the canvas. The end result was a mixture of red, orange, purple, white, and blue. When I had gotten home I gave it to Sam because I didn't know how else to tell them my feelings. That painting was now mounted on the wall and a small smile broke through my expressionless face. Turning my phone completely off I stared aimlessly at the ceiling.
Why was I at Sam's? Well because I felt lost. Sam has always been the constant in my life and so whenever I felt like I didn't have control of my life I would go to their house. It was weird because I never really thought that Sam would leave me. She has been there since we were kids and at this point I knew we would be friends forever. Just knowing that Sam was in the same room as me comforted me.
Why did I feel lost? Simple answer feelings.
Last night I realized that I may have a tiny crush on Kate. But it had been at least 3 years since the last time I had to deal with crushing on someone so I didn't know what to do. Kate had jumbled up all my feelings and I had never been so confused. I thought I had built up my walls strong and high but somehow Kate can make them crumble like a sand castle. The things I had told her I had never told anyone before.

I can't tell you how long I had been looking at the ceiling but I was snapped out of my trance by someone calling my name.
"Earth to Meaghan Walter,"
Sitting up on the couch I saw Sam looking at me with concern swimming in her eyes. I didn't attempt to smile and instead just stared back at Sam.
"Meg are you okay?"
My mind was a fog of confusion and feelings for my best friend but sure I'm fine. Instead of saying that I just whispered,
"Lost"
I never explained why I went to Sam's house actually to Sam but she must have known at least some of the reasoning behind it as they came up and gave me a hug. We didn't talk and I just tried to focus on Sam being there with me. A sudden loud ringing startled us both and we broke apart. She grabbed her phone and I saw the screen displayed the name 'K💛' and a goofy picture of Kasper. Sam looked at me asking for permission to answer. Nodding I watched her answer and hold the phone to their ear.
"Hey hey what's wrong?!"
The words made my anxiety spike as I motioned for Sam to put the phone on speaker.
"Have you seen Meaghan? They aren't answering their phone and Kate said that she woke up and she wasn't there." Kasper said in a panic.