Meaghan Walter and Kate Zimmer

17

Meg's POV  ⚠️TW⚠️

I was woken up from my peaceful sleep by someone violently shaking me. My eyes snapped open but I quickly shut them as my head was pounding and the light was making it 10x worse.
"Meg. Meaghan. Wake up!"
The voice sounded frantic so cautiously I opened my eyes again. Sam stopped shaking me when she saw my eyes slightly opened.
"Jesus Christ Meg what the hell were you thinking?"

The previous events all hit me at once. Admitting to Sam that Lauren raped me, Kate leaving, this awful feeling in my chest, me getting extremely intoxicated and cutting, Kate calling... wait. What the hell happened after I answered? My mind was completely blank after I heard the ringing of my phone and saw Kate's face. A groan left my mouth as I sat up.
"What happened?"
As I said that I realized that I had cut Sam off from one of their rants.
"Oh shit. I didn't mean to cut you off I swear-
As I was about to continue to apologize Sam hugged me tightly.
"You scared the shit out of us." Sam breathed out.

As we continue to hug my forearm pressed against Sam's back and I let out an involuntary gasp of pain. Breaking away from me, Sam glanced at my arm before getting up.

"I'm gonna get some shit to make you feel better. Okay?"
I nodded before Sam left the room. My head throbbed in pain but I was still trying to figure out what happened. All I could remember after answering Kate's call was her saying hey. Shit what did she see? I probably said something stupid? I have to tell her I'm sorry.
I knew that when I was drunk I would tell anyone that would listen what happened to me. That's another reason I always drink alone. Before I could get too into my own head Sam came back. In their hands was a bottle of aspirin and a water bottle. She tossed them too me and I quickly took the pills. I was a bit confused when Sam reached into their pocket but when I saw what she had I completely froze. The white bandages held in their hand told me that she knew I had relapsed again. Guilt and shame spread across my body and formed into a pit in my stomach.
"Uhh...I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have done it but but..."
I didn't even know what I was saying but I felt like I owed Sam an explanation.
"Hey hey it's okay? We'll talk about it later but first we have to put fresh bandages on. Sound good?
Sam said reassuring.
"Umm yea but,"
I clutched her hand as I muttered,
"Sam it's really bad."
They nodded and squeezed my hand in reassurance. Slowly I took off the bloodied bandages. Sam had only seen my cuts right after self harming once and that was right after Lauren so I was terrified of how she would react. I heard Sam suck in a breathe when they finally saw my forearm.
"Oh Meg," Sam breathed out as she glanced up from my arm to my face.

Tears of shame welled up in my eyes as I saw Sam's facial expression. Their eyes were wide and she was biting her lip trying not to cry. The worst part at looking at Sam is that I didn't feel bad. Well I felt extremely guilty at the fact that Sam saw my cuts but I still felt great pride in the damage I had caused. From the reaction Sam had there was no way I could show her my thighs. Sam noticed me looking at them so she started wrapping my arm again. As the bandages were finally covering all of the cuts on my arm I stated,
"Umm Sam can you leave?"
They looked confused so I hesitantly explained,
"My thighs."
Was all I was able to say before Sam's eyes widened. She looked like she didn't want to leave but at the same time I knew they would absolutely freak out if she saw my legs. Finally Sam spoke softly,
"I'm not leaving but I'll turn around. Okay?"
After I nodded they turned around and I slipped out of my pants. Peeling back my boxers I was faced with huge slashes on my thighs. I had gone from the beginning of my inner thigh all the way to my outer thigh and continued doing this on both thighs at least a dozen times. Looking down at my thighs I felt that sick pride come back but before I could admire my artwork any longer my hands went into auto pilot, quickly wrapping the cuts up in white bandages. Changing into a new pair of boxers and sweats I broke the silence that had settled in the room,
"You can turn back around."
Sam looked away from her phone and made eye contact with me.
"Why?"