Meaghan Walter and Kate Zimmer

9

⚠️TW⚠️ mentions of assault and panic attacks
Meg's POV

Long boarding and just hanging out with my two best friends was so much fun and I honestly hated the fact that I noticed they were getting tired. My undiagnosed ADHD made me more hyper then the other two and I felt like I could stay out for at least three more hours. We were currently at a random park swinging on the swing set. As Kasper was telling a story about her dog I saw something incredible. A PERFECT CLIMBING TREE!! As my eyes zoned in on the perfection I jumped off my swing and started running towards it. I heard shouts from behind me but I didn't pay them any mind as I got to the tree and quickly started climbing. I was up in the tree getting comfy on a sturdy looking branch when Kasper and Kate came up to the tree while still laughing at my childishness.
"Damn Meg that was fast. I thought you had seen a squirrel or something cause you ran pretty fast." Kasper teased while Kate laughed even harder.
"Hey Kaspie just cause you are an old fart doesn't mean us younger people can't still have fun."
Kasper's mouth opened to retort but was cut off by Kate speaking, "I hate to interrupt you two, but I'm hungry and haven't eaten since I left today."
My stomach grumbled as she mentioned food and I rushed down the tree but I was a bit too fast and fell at the last little bit. This didn't stop me though as I quickly got up and ran to Kaspie with grabby hands. She chuckled before reaching in her pocket and handing me her keys. That was my cue to leave and without looking back I sprinted to the car. As I unlocked the car I thought about the day so far. Kate was here and did it just to make sure I was okay. The two most important people in my life were friends as well which made the whole situation ten times better. Thinking of the two I noticed that they had finally arrived at the car and gotten in while I was
lost in my thoughts.
"So what food are we getting? I'm thinking burritos what do you guys think." Kasper said as she started to drive away from the park. I simply nodded as I realized that Kate was next to me instead of in the front seat. Kate always made me nervous but not necessarily in a bad way. I don't think I've ever felt this way for anyone so I decided to do the only thing that seemed rational. Shove my feelings deep down and distance myself. Other people may think 'well that's not a very good idea' and to those people all I have to say is trust and commitment issues do shit to you and make you do some stupid shit. For example, I love Kasper so much but I still don't trust her enough to tell her everything that happened to me. I don't want pity I just want to never think or speak of my past again but of course that wasn't really possible. Maybe one day I will be able to tell Kasper the whole story but until then I'll just act like nothing happened. A hand on my shoulder got me out of my thoughts and out of instinct I flinched away. Looking away from the window I saw Kate and Kasper both looking at me a little concerned.
"What?" I asked uncomfortable with the attention I was getting.
"We have been calling your name you just completely zoned out." Kasper quietly said concern clear in her voice. My eyes wandered between Kate and Kasper trying to detect any anger that could have been caused from me not listening.
"Oh sorry I didn't mean to not listen I just got caught up in my thoughts. It's nothing to worry about I promise." As I finished my explanation I heard Kasper slightly sigh but she decided to drop the topic. Kate's eyes were fixed on me which made me fidget and look down.
"We're here so let's go I can't believe we found a shop open it's almost 1 am." Kate said and as I looked up I noticed she had looked away from me. I laughed and hopped out of the car as I spoke, "Well this is Chicago and you can basically find anything you need here." The place was small but looked good and we all quickly ordered and got our food. I didn't like sitting in there so we decided to eat in the car. We finished eating in under 10 minutes and decided that we should all go home. The radio was quietly going and Kasper and Kate were having a conversation about something as I looked out the window. I would occasionally say something but for the most part I was stuck in my own world. I was gonna tell Kate some of my past when we got home if she wasn't too tired. Despite the fact I promised myself that I would distance myself I felt that she deserved to know at least some of my past. Nearing my house I noticed that I was becoming more and more panicked but tried my best to hide it. I doubt I was very good at it though because Kasper kept glancing in my direction but thankfully didn't say anything. By the time we got to my house I was almost hyperventilating and my leg was bouncing uncontrollable. "Umm Kate can I talk to Kaspie for a second?" I asked shakily before finally looking away from the window and into those captivating brown eyes. "Yea sure Meg, do you want me to wait for you or just go inside?" I was amazed that she didn't want to know anything but Kate was way different than my ex so I wasn't about to question it. "Thanks, you don't have to wait for me. I'll be there in a few." Kate nodded and got out of the car. After the door closed Kasper turned around fully and spoke.
"You okay Meg? You look like you are panicking." Like I said before Kasper definitely noticed my state but I tried keeping a brave face and I smile at her.
"I'm gonna tell Kate some of my past tonight. I think she deserves to know and even if I am scared shitless I'm not gonna chicken out." Kasper smiled reassuringly and reached for my hand. "I'm extremely proud of you Meg she is gonna understand and be glad you told her." I took some deep breathes before hugging Kasper and getting out of the car. The walk through my house was filled with overthinking. What if she thinks I'm a freak? She is gonna say it is my fault. I am gonna scare her away. As thoughts continued to swarmed my head I realized I was at my bedroom door. Trying my best to shake the thoughts I shook my head before opening the door. Kate was laying on my bed scrolling through her phone but she looked up when I opened the door.
"You okay?" Was Kate's first words as she got up from the bed. Those two words caused me to break down. Kate rushed over to me but she looked uncertain about something. Hesitantly Kate softly asked, "Can I give you a hug?" I couldn't believe how considerate Kate was and I quickly nodded before hugging her tightly. I'm pretty sure I was hugging too tightly because her breath hitched but she didn't do anything and instead hugged me just as tight. By the time I had gotten control of my tears Kate's shirt was soaked and she looked at me her eyes swimming with concern and questions. We walked over to the bed and I noticed that Kate's hand rubbed light circles on my back to try to calm me down. Sitting down we were consumed in a somewhat tense silence and after a minute I decided to speak. "I'm sorry about your shirt, here let me grab one of my hoodies." I got up from the bed and instantly felt cold from the loss of her hand on my back. I glanced over to Kate as I grabbed a random hoodie and saw she was looking at me her eyes still filled with concern. Walking back to her I silently handed it to her. I was beginning to get anxious as she hadn't talked to me yet. Wordlessly she stood up and took off her shirt quickly pulling the hoodie over herself, I blushed profusely as I saw a glimpse of her body before looking away. I turned around and caught a little smirk before Kate went back to being worried.
"Can you speak? You are worrying me." I said before looking away. After my ex I never asked others to do something but my friends have been helping me get past it.
"I'm sorry Meg I didn't mean to upset you I just don't know what to say. Do you wanna talk about it?" I was taken aback by her apology because she hadn't done anything but I tried to hide my shock and instead I said my idea.
"It's fine you didn't do anything. I bet you have a lot of questions so I'll let you ask any question and I'll answer honestly. Okay?" I thought it was a good idea but I wanted to make sure it was okay with Kate. Glancing up I saw Kate debating and then she slowly nodded before speaking, "Yea okay but you tell me if any of questions make you uncomfortable and we will stop and go to bed." She didn't ask it she demanded it but not in a aggressive way and I nodded in agreement.
"Okay first question...What was you first kiss like?" I laughed. Out of all the questions she must be wondering she goes with the one that she knew would make me laugh. This is why I could trust Kate she always made sure to make me comfortable. After calming down I answered, "It was with a boy named Ryan in the 4th grade recess. We had been 'dating' for a whole week and his friends dared us to kiss. I mean for a kiss in 4th grade it actually wasn't bad." Kate was laughing by now and all she said was, "wow Meg very romantic." I laughed along before we both calmed down. I knew the next question was serious as Kate grabbed my hand and looked me in my eyes, "What's your greatest fear?" I squeezed her hand before looking down and answering, "Lauren," My voice caught in my throat at saying her name but I continued, "and not being enough." I sensed a panic attack coming but tried my best to swallow the tears and panic. My eyes watered and I could tell Kate saw it as she spoke in a calming voice, "Meaghan," I didn't look up from my lap so she tried again, "Bubs look at me" The nickname made my heart melt as I looked up and Kate continued, "You are more than enough. Anyone that says otherwise doesn't deserve to be in such a caring and loving person's life such as yours. We don't have to talk anymore if that is what you want." As she finished I didn't know what to say so I just hugged her. Hugging Kate made me feel safe and understood. Although Kate doesn't know almost any of my past she always making sure I'm okay and trying to make me feel happy.
"I'm kinda tired but you can ask one more question and we can talk more later." She nodded before thinking.
"What was your nightmare about?" I sucked in a breath and thought about how to put it.
"Umm my uhh Lauren...wait not my Lauren but," I was stumbling on my words as I tried to calm down. I felt Kate take my hand and rub her thumb against the back of my hand in a comforting way. I hesitantly continued, "Lauren wasn't nice and I always upset her. I didn't mean to of course and when I messed up she would hurt me. I deserved it," I heard a small gasp but it wasn't from me. I looked down at mine and Kate's hands and finished talking, "but it still fucks with me so I have nightmares about it." I hadn't even realized I was crying until Kate gently wiped away my tears. I didn't want to look up but I finally did and I hated what I saw. Kate's eyes were watering but she wasn't crying and she looked angry. I slid back away from her my hand leaving hers as I did so and disappointment and hurt was displayed on Kate's face before her anger reappeared.
"Kate?" She looked at me and when she saw my face her anger disappeared.
"Oh shit I'm sorry bubs I didn't mean to scare you. I'm not mad at you I promise. No one deserves what happened to you and I'm so sorry it did." I sighed in relief and allowed Kate to come closer to me and connect our hands once again. We sat in silence for a few minutes before I yawned and looked at Kate. She looked like she was thinking but stopped when she realized I was looking at her. She smiled before getting up which confused me.
"Hey where are you going?" I said frowning slightly. She replied in a soft tone, "You look tired so I'm gonna go to the guest room so you can sleep."
Kate opened the door and was about to walk out before I practically shouted out for her. "Kate can you sleep in here? I wanna cuddle." I said in my baby voice. I didn't mean to say it with my baby voice but it slipped out and I wasn't about to saying anything about it. She looked back at me and than shut the door. Before I realized what was happening she jumped next to me and got under the covers. I quickly got under the covers with her and she gently wrapped her arms protectively around me. Snuggling my head into her neck I closed my eyes and let a sigh of content out. Right before sleep caught up to me I thought about the day and I fell asleep feeling proud and content.

A/N I'm sorry Kate's POV isn't in this but I tried making the chapter longer