Dear Melancholy || All Time Low ||

Hold Me, Feel My Heartbeat - Chapter Nine

Chapter title credit;
"Kiss Me Again" - We Are The In Crowd Feat. Alex Gaskarth

LEAH

Alex gave me a bear hug and I laughed awkwardly.

"I missed you." I fake smiled when he pulled away. Don't get me wrong, I did miss him. But why the hell would I truly smile when I'm freaking out on the inside?

"I missed you too. How've you been?" He asked. "Awesome. I really like it here but it's been pretty busy lately. Speaking of busy, Jack, don't we have to go mail my letter to my parents?" I gave Jack a look that said "we need to leave" and I guess he was thinking the exact same thing. "Oh yeah! I forgot. It was nice seeing you guys." He smiled and started to fast walk away.

"I'll text you guys!" I said before walking in the same direction that Jack did.

Once we got in the car I sighed in relief.

"How did he know we were here?" I asked Jack. "Well, I might have posted that picture I took on Twitter.." He admitted. "This is exactly why I don't like social media shit." I said and sighed again. "Can we just go home?"

He hesitated for a moment. "Yeah. Sure."

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Later that night I walked into Jack's room.

"I need to talk to you." I sat down next to him at the end of his bed. "Oh no." He put down his phone and looked at me. "It's not about breaking up. I just wanted to say that I'm not mad at you for posting the picture. I mean, how would you know that he was gonna follow us?" I laughed.

He knows about what happened back in Essex with Alex because I told him one day when we were Skyping about two months ago.

"Thank god, I was worried that you were mad." He sighed in relief. "I'm glad that I can give you peace of mind." I smiled.

Then there was a silence, and not an awkward one, a comfortable one. I could feel his eyes looking me up and down.

"Stop that." I covered my face with my hands. "Stop what?" He asked. "Looking at me that way!" I laughed. "It's a good thing. It means that I like what I see." He bluntly said.

"Does it also mean that you're thinking about things? Like making a move?"

He scoffed. "I would if I could."

I looked down and smiled. "It's nice that you still remember what I said five months ago. I can't believe that I'm still waiting. What am I wa-" I cut myself off when I looked back up at him. "I shouldn't tell you this."

"You can tell me anything. I'm your boyfriend, that's what I'm here for." He said.

"You're too proud." I chuckled. "No, I just care." He moved closer to me and held my hand, intertwining his fingers with mine.

"I think I shouldn't wait." I blurted out. "Why?" He asked. "Because I have you. Every time I look at you, as creepy as it sounds, I take in every feature and every time that happens, I want you more each time. It's new to me, meaning I've never felt this way about anyone, even Oli.. and it scares me." I explained, feeling my cheeks heat up in embarrassment.

"If it makes you feel better, I've wanted you since I laid eyes on you." He said.

I let go of his hand and stood up. Shortly after he stood up too and wrapped his arms around my stomach. I turned around and looked him in the eyes.

"I don't want you to feel like you have to." He whispered. "I didn't say that I felt like I had to. I want to, it's just scary. And I know I sound ridiculous it's just.." I sighed. "All my teenage years my mom and dad told me to wait. Especially my dad. He doesn't approve of any of my boyfriends so he said that if I end up sleeping with a guy that isn't worthy of me, I'll lose all of his respect and trust. Ever since then, I've always been very careful."