People started surrounding and aiming their guns at us. We were completely outnumbered.
"This round of hide-and-seek is sadly over, but the next round is starting...right now!"
We heard a fit of hysterical laughter before she announced.
"Are you rea...
"So that is why the world is inevitably going to die and we're just living towards our extinction," I ended my debate and sipped on my cup of green tea.
It was the weekend and Zach and I were bored. So we decided to have discussions on random topics from the top of our heads. We have been debating ever since the morning and we were now in the kitchen at 11AM.
"This topic started off as why clouds are the shape they are," he stated and I scoffed playfully, "Well, we went off-topic."
He lightly chuckled and kissed my temple. We were about to pick up on another topic when a knock resonated from the door to the dining room and main kitchen.
We looked over and saw ginger standing there, rubbing his eyes.
"Morning," I greeted and he smiled at me, "Good morning, miss."
He blinked before walking over to the counter and leaning on it, "Don't you have work, miss?"
I shook my head, "I took out most of my energy this week so we're taking a break from the chaos," I said and held Zach's hand. Ginger noticed and nodded, standing up straight, "Well, I shouldn't interrupt then, miss. Please excuse me."
He turned to walk away but stopped in the middle of his tracks. He opened the fridge and took out a box, the same box he was holding before we went to Castro Enterprises.
He placed the box on the counter, "Um, I made these for you that day. It would mean a lot if you gave me some feedback once you've eaten it."
I glanced at the box and back at him, nodding, "I'll give you my thoughts when I've tried it."
"Thank you, miss," he gave me a smile before glancing behind me and his lips twitched into a smirk. I raised an eyebrow at him and he excused himself, walking back to the staff quarters.
"Diamond?"
"Yeah?"
He wrapped his arms around me and said in an innocent voice, "May I have permission to kill him?"
I placed a hand on his shoulder and the other cupping his face, "No, you can't go around killing the staff whenever you want. I shouldn't have introduced you to this life."
He pecked my lips softly, "Too bad, I'm tied to it now."
***
"How do you feel?"
I turned to glance at Zach who was staring at the clouds. We were in the backyard in the evening, waiting for dinner to be served.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"With your parents and all."
I stared back at the darkening sky.
"Honestly, I feel a little bit better each passing year. I want to move on and continue my life because that's what they would want from me, but my feet are glued to the ground. The demons in my head are forcing me to stay and keep the weak side of me at bay. I want to bring out my old self, but the monsters hate her. I hate her."
It was his turn to look at me.
"You don't hate the little girl inside you. She's a part of you that you want back."
"But if that girl, that pathetic and naive weakling is shown on display for everyone to see, I'm afraid that the gang will fall."
"That's what you think you want, what your brain wants. But what does your heart, your soul want? What do they need?"
"They want...they want to invite my innocence back. They want to experience the childhood we lost, the one we could've had."
"Then why don't you bring it back?"
"If my virtue is restored, I could never kill again. I would never be able to harm another being. It's the absence of my integrity that allows me to take a life."
"You need to let go of the gun every once in a while. Maybe your naivety can never come back, but you can allow yourself to rub off the blood on your hands and restore part of it, bit by bit."
"The life in a gang requires the blood to never be washed off. I can never give back the lives I took. Just like how the demons can never give back the innocence they took."
"What if you think about it as...cleansing yourself? Give yourself closure."
"How?"
"Talk to someone about your feelings."
"I am."
"Talk more. Let it out."
I turned on my side to face him.
"I want to stop lying to myself. I feel as if I'm not living life to the fullest. I don't want to be in denial any more."
"Then let me in. Let me see the little girl. Let me heal her. Let me heal you."
"My heart is shattered with missing pieces. It's beyond repair."
"Let's fix it then. Nothing is unfixable. Even you."
"What if you accidentally step on a piece? You'll break more."
"Then we'll have to tread carefully. Keep our eyes open for the pieces."
"The little girl doesn't have the key to open the cage and let you in. She fed it to the demons."
"Then we'll cut the demons open and take the key out to unlock the cage."
"You'd do that? You'd fight my demons with me?"
"I'll always fight for you."
"I'll have to warn you, to get the demons to open up a road to the little girl, you'll have to uncover secrets. Secrets you may never want to find out. Secrets that will make you think of me differently."
"Nothing about you will make me think that. You're perfect with your imperfections."
"Then you better be ready and brandish your weapon, because the demons are ready to demolish everything to keep the secrets away. I'm ready to hide, but if you find a way to open me up, please do. Because I don't want to keep secrets anymore, I want to open up, but I don't want to relive the past."
So now you know why she does what she does, I think. Thank you for choosing to read RON. Follow me (@lephantomsoh) on Instagram to get sneak peeks and random snippets of things.
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