Clementine had become a wild child. Born in America but raised abroad, she now had little regard for the expectations of high society. But her reckless ways eventually catch up with her when she is kicked out of college in New York City and forced t...
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"Come on, babe," Alex said to her, "have some."
They were standing in a basement somewhere of some house party somewhere in the city. New York City.
Clementine didn't know how she got there, except that it was the car ride she shared with Alex where he slipped his hands into her pants and she called it love.
They were standing across his guy, some dude named Liam, the provider of that night's choice of appetizer: la coca.
"Noo.." Clementine slurred, already having a bit too much to drink of whatever they were serving upstairs.
Alex, her very own boy toy of the night, the guy she once used to be so in awe of, was no holding a silver key, with the powder on top of it.
He leaned in to kiss her instead. She obliged, and Liam walked away.
"I have to go to the bathroom," she managed to make out before she slipped away to somehow find a room.
She locked the door behind her and took a moment for everything to come back into focus. The room was swaying, and she looked in the mirror to steady herself.
There was something on her face, and she realized it was cocaine from when Alex kissed her.
"Stupid," she murmured to herself.
Her phone started ringing and he tired to fumble it out of her pocket, and it fell into the toilet.
"Shit," she knew she should go home but instead she stared at it.
Taking it out of the toilet bowl and washing her hands, she realized she didn't need to pee. Or sleep. She did't need anything.
She vaguely remembered forcing Alex to leave, who insisted the stay and talk to more pole and do more drugs.
They went to his apartment, where she woke up the next morning feeling terrible, with a broken phone and remembering that she missed her lecture. Again.
It all happened a bit without her noticing it.
At first, she was apprehensive about going to University, not knowing anyone in a new place.
But all of a sudden, she was popular. And it felt so good and she looked so good and the pressure to keep it all up was bone crushing, until she eventually became somebody she no longer recognized.
At first, she partied just a bit. Once or twice a week. Then as her friend group started increasing, so did the parties.
She met a boy at a party who seemed to shine. She thought he was pretty amazing, and once they got together there, she thought she should feel lucky and there was no going back.
All of a sudden she was loved! And she had all the freedom in the world.
But, turns out he was only amazing when he was high, and if anyone should have felt lucky, it should have been him. Because, near the end, she caught him with who she called her 'best friend'. And that was that,
And where she started off doing well in school, being naturally intelligent she never had to put that much effort in high school, that started to slip from her grasp as well until she completely gave up, figuring it was better to stop trying because she could see the outcome before she got there.
She realized she hadn't spoken to her parents on the phone for nearly a month, the longest they've ever gone without communicating. Until her mom called and she ended up having a break down on the phone.
"What happened? Clementine, what happened?" Her mother kept pleading on the phone but Clementine had no words.
How could she answer? It was not one thing. It was everything all at once. An utter, and absolute failure.
So unlike her, that she did't have time to blink and it all happened.
Next thing she knew, Columbia handed her a letter, stating something along the line that they 'have no space for nepotism or for students that have no space for them.'
And all her 'friends' were nowhere to be found once she stopped making her regular appearances at those circles.
She wondered why she couldn't control it.
That's how she need up on the first flight home, full of regrets and things she could've done. Things she didn't.
It took her some time to b able to process what had happened, before she could even try and attempt to explain to someone.
Most of all, it was like she woke up a large, ugly monster that was sleeping somewhere inside her body. And she had to learn how to tame it before it tamed her.
At the same time, though, looking back at it. She wouldn't be able to go back to the way that she was even if she wanted to.
