Clementine had become a wild child. Born in America but raised abroad, she now had little regard for the expectations of high society. But her reckless ways eventually catch up with her when she is kicked out of college in New York City and forced t...
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"Why do you do it?"
She asked him, chin on her hands, laying on his chest. They were now back at his apartment and outside the stars provided a glitter to the night.
"Do what?" He asked, absent mindedly stroking her hair.
Clementine got up on her elbows, her breasts grazing his chests, seemingly distracting him, but she went on.
"I know what you do...the trips. Some guys explained it to me. Ayuhasca, right?"
This caught his attention, "some guys, huh?"
"I'm not angry or anything, I just want to understand."
"Well," Zico turned around, getting a cigarette and lighting it up right there and then. "The best way to describe it would be a mystical experience."
"Meaning?" She asked, realizing he was using the smoke to shield himself.
"It's something that, essentially, drops your ego. It alters your consciousness, changes your reality."
"Okay..." Clementine tried to imagine what it would be, but realizing that the closest thing to that experience would be being with Zico for her. She kept quiet about it.
"Mira, it is a way to connect you to the invisible powers of the universe. It humbles you, makes you feel love in places you did't know you could." He continued sucking on the cigarette, a little harder than usual, "made me a better person, I think."
Clementine tried to understand, but to her it felt bit like cheating. Though she din't sy that either.
"I'm intrigued," she said truthfully raising her eyebrows.
"I'll take you sometime," Zico said, checking her reaction, "if you'd want."
Ah, there it was. She loved seeing him a little nervous in front of her, it signified he wasn't as smooth as if he didn't care at all.
But also, a pang at the fact that, with him and in general, it was so easy to promise, but so hard to do.
"Last time we went somewhere, it didn't turn out so good," Clementine said with some humour.
"Ah!" Zico put his hand over his face and then laughed.
He grabbed her hips and turned her over, changing the subject, just like that.
"Don't remind me of that nightmare," he whispered in her ear, and proceeded to come at her with a new found vigilance, as if trying to survive something.
He was rougher than usual, almost disassociated then. As if, physically he was with her, but mentally he was going through something else in his mind. And once again, Clementine was reminded of the weight of the burden that he carries on himself for one reason or another.
She thought, that if she could carry it, it would make her more of a woman. To him, and to her.
So she took it, 'like a woman', instantly regretting it. She was afraid they were establishing patterns that wouldn't be easy to break.
