Clementine had become a wild child. Born in America but raised abroad, she now had little regard for the expectations of high society. But her reckless ways eventually catch up with her when she is kicked out of college in New York City and forced t...
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Clementine was in agony.
This is what it was, a certain type of need she couldn't fill.
After writing him that note, which she wasn't sure how she was going to send and yet which also captured everything she needed to say perfectly, she did send it but has since been living in a stasis of unchangeable anguish.
Sometimes, when she would wake up, she'd almost forget why she needed to leave.
But then she remembered. And even though she didn't want to leave him, she knew that she had to. She had to save what little dignity she had left.
It was made all the worse, when she skipped a party they were planning on going to together. Watching the clock tick away, in her mind she gave every hour a meaning. Things like, oh 6 o'clock, about the time I would have left the house. 7 o'clock - I would have met him in his apartment. 8 o'clock we would be drinking. And so on.
They didn't exchange any words since, but it was like they didn't need to because many times this silence poke much louder than she ever would have been able to.
Instead of going out, she would pass by the hours in her house in languish, like a house cat. Drawing incoherent shapes, painting things she didn't know herself, lying out in the backyard, and eating dinner with her parents. The wine they drank, aggravating her emotions and making her feel even more down.
She was afraid she was going to break down just all of a sudden just like that. And on one occasion, she actually did. Crying by dessert in form of her parents, who just looked at her and didn't know what to say. They were more or less resolved to the situation, and thought that letting her emotions out was the best she could do for herself.
"That and time," her mother noted, Clementine wasn't sure if she as speaking from experience or not, but Clementine just nodded.
Her parents were resolved to the situation and their daughter at hand, and Clementine was resolve to the fact that she's never quite going to get over this but will have to continue on somehow either way.
All of this was made much worse, by having to view it all from an outsider's perspective.
No longer in his inner circle, Clementine started to see things in a differ way. And as much as she wanted to come into his circle, this time she knew the consequences.
Having to see all their outings on her phone in social media, she knew she shouldn't be doing it, but she could't hep herself.
She hated herself for needing its and one day, her stomach really dropped when she saw a video of them, filmed by one of Zico's closet friends, on the beach. Zico's outline so clearly there by the water, playing soccer with some other guys.
Clementine pause on that long enough to lose her balance, but she wished she didn't continue because the video then panned to the right, where the rest of the crew was lying on the beach. And among them, unmistakably, was that girl. The one that he was with the first time they ...took a break.
And even though this time, it wasn't then embracing or anything, Clementine hated it. Even if she was just there as part of the friend group, Clementine couldn't believe how losing al over could also mean losing your fiends.
She couldn't take it. She threw her phone on her bed, and went to the bathroom where she proceeded to vomit what little was left of her dinner.
