First Reality...Now Love

CHAPTER18

Its been about three months since my mom died and I've been doing okay with out her. i miss her...she was everything to me ...but I've learned how to move on since its not the first time i loss someone in my life ...

For an seventeen year old girl I've been through lost more then i can remember...but i've learned how to live with it already so its not a new feeling anymore its just natural to me now...

After going though my little depression stage I'm ready to come back to life and find my new purpose of living....

One thing is for sure is that I'm coming undone and clearing my feeling for everyone...I'm sure what i want and now that i don't have nothing to fight for I'm going to fight for the person i love and try to be happy again...

I do regret my kiss with Marcus because i knew i didn't like him yet i still kissed him and that was wrong of me I'm thankful that he's been here for me but he went back to California knowing the way i feel for him and he was okay with it he understood me...

I let him know that my feelings for him are mutual...that i only like him as a close friend...nothing more...I'm glad i did that...no i don't have to feel obligated to act like i like him as a guy because i don't...

Well today is finally Friday and I'm glad since i really didn't feel like being at school ...i mean who does school is ...school ...well I'm going to stay after school today i need to talk to Mr.Sanchez.... he's going to know how i feel about him today ....

He doesn't know that i am coming...so I'm technically going to surprise him...As I'm walking to his class room i her him talking to another teacher ...when i walk in i see that its my history teacher Mr.Styles...I'm guessing there friends due to the fact that they work in the same building...but somethings off because now that i see them together they look alike...

is it possible that they could be....brothers...no it cant ...could it....I'm a very curious person so I'm going to ask at some point...

"hey look who it is my favorite student.."Mr.Styles says as he see's me...causing  Mr.Sanchez to turn around and look at me with a smile on his lips...

"hey Mr.Styles how are you...and we both know your lying..."i say looking at him as i let out a laugh...

"what can i do for you Mrs.Reyes..." Mr.Sanchez asked me and i look at him with a serious look on my face...

"i need to talk to you...its important...and not school related..." i say hoping he gets what I'm trying to say and when i  see him look at Mr.Styles i know that he understood me...

"well Mrs.Reyes go ahead and tell me what this is about..."

"Um...Well see actually this is kinda personal...If you know what i mean"

Mr.Styles looks at me with a worried look and i smile at him reassuring him that I'm okay...i then look at Mr.Sanchez and he understands but looks at me as if telling me to tell him what i want to say...i guess he can feel that I'm uncomfortable that he looks at me and smiles...i on the other hand slightly smile...

"Jezzica this My brother Edward and he knows everything about us...i trust him just like you trusted your mom and Andrew...

After he mentioned my mother i felt a bit of sadness but then i got good memories of her and it brought a smile to my face....i guess i was deep in thought when i heard my name being called several times....

i looked at Mr.Sanchez and apologized and he said it was okay...i guess i was right they are brothers but why do they have different last names....

"if you guys are brothers why do you have different last names??"

"we have the same mother but different fathers..."

"oh okay well that's what i thought when i walked in...but i didn't wanna seen rude and ask...''

"Its okay we understand...so what did you want to tell my brother other there???" 

"oh yeah um...i guess it y'all are close then there's no problem saying it in front of you..."

"Well Jezzica what did you want to tell me that is so important to you to let me know..." 

after that sentence comes out of his mouth i walk towards him knowing that his brother is looking at us...and when i am a few feet away from him i begin to talk...

"Well what i wanted to tell you is that I'm not confused anymore on how i feel about you and that i love you and that i wanna be with you no matter what and that i am willing to fight for us again not that i stopped fighting..."

"That's what i wanted to tell you..." i look at him breathless and smile waiting for his response...

After he didn't answer i look at Mr.Styles i see that he is smiling for his brother but he hasn't answered me ... 

When i look back at him he still has and expressionless look...at this point I'm scared to find out what he feels and i have dough's now...

does he love or does he love Me not???