The End Of The Road | HEROPHINE

Chapter 17

Josephine's pov:
My head is spinning and I can't see anything. I'm not sure if I'm underneath something, blindfolded, or if the whole room is just dark. I'm not sure how long I've been here, alone. I just want my son back, I want my husband back. It's crossed my mind that I could die any day. This could be it. The thing I think about most, however, is what Hero must be going through right now. Why? Why, did this have to happen to us?

..
A few days after Hero's panic attack..
Hero's Pov:
The nights are just getting worse and worse.
I'll be sleeping and stretch my arm out to the other side of the bed, only to feel a cold sheet, not Josephine's warm body next to me.
I'm not sure when it will kick in that she's actually missing. I just keep waiting for her to walk through the door, but, she never does, and I'm starting to fear she won't, ever. I don't want to think like that but it feels like forever since I last laid eyes on the love of my life.

I pick up the diary which I've been keeping on my bedside table. I like to have it near me, it's the closest thing I have to Jo right now and it's able to briefly distract me from the fact she's missing.
I open it on one of the earliest entries, reading closely over her words.

The filming of after is going great. I was nervous, it being my first lead role, but now I think I'm really getting into it. Tessa is a fun character to play, and I feel she'll be a role model to the kids who watch this movie. She stands up for herself when she needs to, but isn't afraid to be vulnerable at times, and open up to people- Hardin- about her feelings.
I guess I should be more like her. Having Hero on set is one of the best things to come out of filming. He's so respectful, especially in romantic scenes. He treats me like we've known each other for years and is just a really nice guy. It's his first lead role too, and we're even the same age, which means we have things in common to talk about. I'm pleased we get on well.. as friends. It makes it so much easier to film scenes when our chemistry comes naturally like this. It's just that, I'm starting to question if I do truly want only a friendship with him. I'll be honest, when he kisses me, it's like I stop acting and just, live in the moment. I react how Jo would, not Tessa. But it seems to work, because we looks great on camera apparently. I feel something when we film those kinds of scenes. But I'm just too nervous to tell him. I don't want to be humiliated. Besides, he spends all his time with the other girls, Khad and Inanna. They're so pretty compared to me, and I guess if that's his type, I don't have a chance. At least I have him around as a friend I guess. He's just, so.. perfect.

I sigh. It feels like yesterday. What I'd give to go back to the After set. Sunny Atlanta, the whole original cast, and slowly falling in love with Jo as we grew closer together. She was so nervous when we admitted we liked each other. Our first kiss was amazing, though. I hope she knows how much she's changed my life, how much I love her.

John is still sleeping in the nursery, thank goodness. He really is getting better at sleeping at night , the whole way through. He's such a good kid, and he's still so young. He's growing so fast, though. Sometimes I wonder what his life will he like when he's older. Will everyone just see him as those actors' son, or will he find his own identity? Will me (and Jo) raise him to be a good guy? Will he be tall like me, or short like Jo?
The thought of our height difference brings back all the memories of me making fun of Jo for wearing ridiculously high heels, for having to sit on pillows, and boxes. Filming a movie with someone significantly smaller than you is a challenge , but with the right camera angles, and the things I just mentioned, directors can work around it. It's not that hard. Of course, I had to have a laugh every time Jo stumbled when walking in those crazy shoes. Sometimes they just added a small platform on the bottom of her flats, which worked well too.
I used to tease her and pull the pillows out from under her between takes. Her reactions were so cute, and it was so hard not to just kiss her in front of the entire crew. I can't believe it was so long ago, and it was easily the best time of my life. If only Jo was here to remember it with me.