𝓦𝓮'𝓵𝓵 𝓑𝓮 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓢𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓼 {𝓐.𝓓.𝓒 𝔁 𝓨𝓸𝓾}

four >>> gone: part I

Slowly, I pull the phone down away from my ear. My eyes close shut as I take in a deep breathe and release it moments later. It's shaky. I'm shaky, but I slide my phone into my pocket and open my eyes walking down the hall that I watched June, Alycia and her manager walk off to.

With each step I could feel myself on the verge of breaking down. I felt the walls inside of me crumbling, but I couldn't let them down. I couldn't let them break. Not now. Not when there's going to be too many eyes on me. I take another deep breathe as I push open the door and right as I do shouts and screams from fans echoes through my ears and through my head. My breathing increases. I could feel my heart beating at this point. I clench my jaw and scan the area finding Alycia signing things and taking pictures with fans. But I look past her and to her manager behind her. I keep searching finally finding my manager. Quickly I walk to her and place my back to everyone. I felt bad but I had to get out.

I keep my back to all the fans and get close to my manager's ear. "I need to go," I whisper, it coming out in breaks and heavy breathes. I feel her grab my arm and pull me away a bit. Our eyes meet and her eyes immediately soften.

"What's wrong?" She asks and I shake my head closing my eyes.

"June I really need... need to go-" I pause a second reopening my eyes. I knew the tears that I was so desperately holding in were beginning to come out. But I keep holding on as my manager nods and looks around. She gets the attention of a security guard and he comes over. They exchange few words and I can hear people shouting my name but I can't. I keep my back against everyone feeling June grab my arm once again, gently squeezing it.

"Okay you're going to take the first car. Billy here will drive you," June explains to me and I only nod my head. "You going to tell-"

"Just tell her I'll text her later," I say cutting the girl off. June nods and glances to Billy. I follow and be motions for me to walk first. I do feeling him stay close beside me as we walk past everyone. I keep my head low walking past all the fans feeling this extreme amount of guilt rise inside of me but it sinks away as a car door opens and I slip inside hearing the door shut. I lean my head back and close my eyes feeling the car begin to move. And as I pick up my head, opening my eyes and glancing out the window my eyes meet with Alycia's. But I look away and to my lap as the car keeps moving.

<<<<>>>>

My leg bounces up and down violently. My phone vibrates in the pocket of my pants as my eyes stare down at the tiled floor. Most of the calls and texts were from Alycia and then some were from June. I was even getting notifications from social media but I just turned those off. But I couldn't really turn off Alycia and June's messages. So I eventually just turned my phone on silent.

"Y/N..." A voice spoke causing my leg to stop shaking and my head to pick up. I'm met with familiar eyes. Ones I haven't seen in a while but when I looked at them all I felt was anger.

"Uncle Thomas," I say looking away and leaning forward in my chair. Out of the corner of my eye I see him sit down beside me.

"I'm glad you came-"

"Why wouldn't I come?" I ask turning and looking at the guy. His eyes were full of tears and he looked terrible. Worse than I had left him 2 years ago.

"Well I wasn't sure you would even pick up my call after what had happened," he explained his voice low and tired. I look away slowly and looking down the hall.

"Yeah well I wasn't going to but you texted Tina and I had to answer." A silence surrounds us for a heavy minute. I lean back in my chair and cross my arms over my chest. "How could... How'd this happen?"

"I-I don't know-" I bite my lower lip not fully believing him but remain silent. I can hear the man go to speak again when a doctors voice speaks up.

"You two here for Tina Y/L/N?" The doctor asked. Immediately I pushed myself up and looked to the doctor with eager eyes. "I'm so sorry... We did everything we could but her injuries-" The doctors voice vanished but his lips kept moving. I heard nothing he said as I stared at him with tears filling my eyes and slipping down my cheeks. I couldn't believe what he's saying. My mind didn't want to believe it. I didn't want to believe it. My little bean is just... gone.

I close my eyes and stumble back feeling Uncle Thomas' hand on my back. Quickly my eyes open quick and I step away from him, but look to the doctor.

"May I see her?" I question, my voice hoarse. The doctor gives me a small faint smile nodding a bit before motioning for me to follow him. I glance to Uncle Thomas and hold up my index finger. When I was younger it was a way to let each other know we have to do this on our own. I watch him nod his head and I turn around following behind the doctor to where they held Tina.

It's not long until we get into the room. The doctor says he'll give me some space pulling down the sheet that covers the girl. I close my eyes once he does then hear him exit the room. I take a moment. A deep breathe in and then it comes out so shakily. That's when I slowly open my eyes feeling myself walk towards the girl.

As I get closer tears flow more than they were. I felt sick to my stomach seeing how pale Tina was. How the life was just gone from her body. I bit my bottom lip and look to her hand slowly taking a hold of it. She was cold. I squeeze her hand a bit even though I know she couldn't feel it, but I did it anyways examining her arm barely seeing the monster that caused this.

I look away quickly and to her face. Her pale, lifeless face with her eyes closed. I close my eyes and can see her beautiful eyes in front of me along with her smile. But after a couple moments I reopen my eyes bringing myself back to reality.

"I'm-" I stop feeling my voice stuck in my throat. I cough a bit, keeping my mouth closed, clearing my throat. "I'm so sorry little one... I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'm so sorry I left you with him and that I... I didn't make sure you were okay-"

I reach up my other hand and grab a piece of stray hair slowly putting it behind the girl's ear. I sniff in holding back from balling my eyes out, slowly and gently placing my hand on the girl's cheek. She was so soft yet cold to the touch. It felt wrong. Everything about this felt wrong.

"I'm going to do better... I'm not going to forget you kitten. Not now not ever-" I pause my voice low. My eyes look all around her face wishing she would open her eyes but know it's not a possibility. "I love you Tina. Fly high and spread your wings like we always talked about when we were little. Be that angel you always were."

I close my eyes feeling tears slipping down my cheeks as I lean forward and gently place my lips against the girl's forehead. I stand back up straight and open my eyes as I hear the door open. Slowly I glance over my shoulder finding Uncle Thomas with tears in his eyes. I turn back looking to Tina one last time before turning and heading out of the room. I make it around the corner by the time Uncle Thomas grabs my wrist stopping me.

"What?" I snap turning swiftly and glaring at him. Immediately he lets go of my arm and looks down. Hesitantly he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a folded up piece of paper.

"I found this—this in her room. It's for you," Uncle Thomas said his voice low. My eyes went from his to the piece of paper multiple times before I reached out and took a hold of it. But I just stared at it. I didn't have the strength to open it and read it. So I stared at it feeling Uncle Thomas place his hand on my shoulder squeezing it once before letting go. I pick up my eyes and glance over my shoulder finding Uncle Thomas walking towards Tina. I look away however and place the letter into my pocket before heading for the door and to an exit out of the hospital.