𝓦𝓮'𝓵𝓵 𝓑𝓮 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓢𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓼 {𝓐.𝓓.𝓒 𝔁 𝓨𝓸𝓾}

six >>> time skips

{1 Week Later}

A low sigh escapes my lips as I sit up and rub my eyes. I ended up leaving the hotel and going  back to my apartment. I've been here mostly ever since. Other than the time I went to Uncle Thomas's place where he and Tina live, or well lived. He still lives there, but when I was over there going through Tina's things I don't even know why I did. How I managed to do it, it's beyond me. But I did it and find a few things that I kept, put them in a box and placed it in my closet.

And I've been getting texts and calls from my manager June and from Alycia. I've ignored all of them except I sent both of them the simple, Hey, I'm fine. I'm going to take some time off. I won't be in interviews or doing press conferences. But I'm fine. I'm not sure either one bought it but it's good to do that than nothing.

A low sigh escapes my lips as I toss the blanket off of my body. I haven't slept. I don't know who could. Even a week ago when I had a break down in front of Alycia and she came back to my hotel with food. I didn't eat anything. I couldn't. I barely paid attention to the movies and when she fell asleep I let her. I got up and went to the balcony. I sat out there for hours and just thought. My mind seemed to take over at that point with everything swirling inside. And I hadn't even realized how long I was sitting out there till Alycia came out and asked if I slept any. I had to lie to her and told her I slept a bit. She just nodded and we sat together for a while. And when she left to go change and get ready for the day I packed all my shit up and checked out of the hotel. Not the smartest thing I've done but I wasn't really thinking.

I slide out of the bed and walk to the restroom. I reach out to the left and flick on the light flinching at the bright light. After a second I adjust to it and walk in, shutting the door and looking to the mirror. My hair didn't look bad, but it definitely needed washed and brushed. My face looked terrible with tears staining my face and my eyes red and puffy. A low sigh escapes my lips as I close my eyes briefly. I open them soon after and walk over to the shower siding back the curtain and turn the shower on. Once it's on I step back and begin stripping then take out my hair from the bun last. After all that I get into the shower feeling the warm water hit against my skin.

I stand under it for a long moment, keeping my eyes closed just letting the water hit me. It felt good after not doing this for a week. I was taking one every day with filming and interviews. But this past week I just had no motivation.

My eyes open and I begin washing my body and washing my hair. After I do I stand another few minutes under the water before finally turning the water off and reaching my arm out, grabbing my towel. I dry off my body and then run the towel through my hair before wrapping it around my body then proceeding to getting out of the shower. Once I'm out I look in the mirror and see I look somewhat better but still felt like shit on the inside. Maybe that's normal- The sound of several knocks at my front door cuts me off causing me to look at my restroom door. I bite my bottom lip confused. Who the hell would be knocking at my door?

Another round of knocks appear and I nod walking out of the bathroom and through my bedroom to get out to the front door. I walk through the living room quickly hearing the knocks louder from here. Quickly I walk to the door and look through the peephole. I shut my eyes and clench my jaw shaking my head a bit as I slowly unlock it. When it's unlocked I pull it open and open my eyes coming face to face with Alycia's.

"Oh my god- Y/N-" she pauses stepping forward and wrapping her arms around me. I stay still a moment hesitant at first then barely wrap my arms back around her trying keep the towel up and around my body. After a couple seconds she pulls away and lets her eyes slowly travel down. I linger there a second as she brings her eyes back up and shut the door behind her.

"Alycia now isn't-"

"Y/N I know things are tough right now but I want to be here for you," she spoke gently cutting me off. I nod at her slowly as she nods back at me.

"I get that... I was actually going to text you in a bit-" I pause and glance down at my entire then quickly look back up. "I'm going to go get dressed, be right back." Alycia nods and I quickly turn on my heels and head for my bedroom.

<<<<>>>>

I come back out of my bedroom fully dressed and find the back of Alycia's head as she sits on the couch. I walk around and slowly take a seat next to her. When I do I see her staring at the coffee table. I follow where she's looking and find the unopened letter Uncle Thomas gave me at the hospital from Tina. I bite my lip and feel tears form in my eyes looking away fumbling with my thumbs.

"Is that...?" Alycia started but let her voice trail. Out of the corner of my eye I see her look at me so I slowly nod my head up and down. "You haven't read it?" I shake my head from side to side. "That's okay, you know?"

"I know... I feel like an ass for not opening it," I say through tears in my eyes. Out of the corner of my eye I see Alycia shake her head before reaching over and grabbing a hold of my hand. I let her feeling her give it a gentle squeeze as I bite my lip and close my eyes.

"You're not though... She knows you'll open it when you're ready. She'll want you to do it on your own terms..." Alycia gently says squeezing my hand again. I nod and open my eyes, turning my head locking eyes with her's. She gives me a concern look. Her eyes were soft and I felt bad. Why? I don't know, but I did. Part of me didn't like that she was seeing me so vulnerable. I was always the one for her to lean on. She had a tough couple of weeks especially during shooting Crumbling and she talked to me about it and I listened. I was there for her through a lot and I don't know. I don't know how I feel about the roles reversed.

"Hey, what's going on up inside your brain?" Alycia asks gently placing her pointer finger on my head. I shake my head putting on barely a smile.

"I don't even know at this point, Leesh," I whisper, pulling back my lip looking back and forth between her eyes.

"You know you can talk to me right? I got you. Always."

"I know-" I pause a moment and briefly look away and to our hands that are still locked. Gently I squeeze her hand feeling her squeeze back. A gentle, awkward rise of my lips smears across my face as I slowly pick up my eyes and to the letter when an idea comes into my mind. Gently, I reach forward and pick up the envelope. I lean back and stare down at the letter.

"Y/N if you're not-"

"It's been a week. Almost two since she..." My voice lingers after cutting Alycia off. I turn my head and lock our eyes. Concern filled with a softness took off her face but I shook my head switching my eyes back and forth between her beautiful green ones. "I want to read it... But can I ask you to do something for me?"

"Of course. Anything," she responds giving me an uplifting smile.

"Will you stay here with me while I do it?" Alycia's eyes soften even more and a small smile stays on her pink lips.

"Yeah, of course I will." I nod and tear my eyes away from hers. I feel her gently move herself a bit closer to me and lay her head down on my shoulder. "I won't read it... I just want you to know I'm right here." I nod slowly keeping my eyes on the envelope feeling nerves and fear bubbling inside of me. But as I take in a deep breathe and let it out I begin opening the envelope and pull out the letter.