I woke up in a hospital bed with my hands handcuffed to the bed. I try to get it off but it's locked.
What am I doing here?
What happened to me?
"Help," I call out. " Somebody please come help me"
The door swings open and a nurse walks in.
"You're awake"
"Why am I handcuffed to the bed? What's going on? I'm supposed to be at my father's funeral. Please get these cuffs off"
"I can't do that"
"Please. I feel better. I'm not burning up anymore"
"You tried to commit suicide"
My heart sinks.
"What? "
" You cut your wrists" Her eyes travel to my hands. "If your brother didn't find you when he did, you would've died"
This is a mistake. I didn't cut my wrists. I didn't.
I fell and hit my head. I had another panic attack.
"That's not what happened" Tears rolled down my face. My throat closes up as I try to talk my way out of this crazy place.
"I had a panic attack. I always have panic attacks when I'm overwhelmed" I explained to her.
" Let me call your family" her hand reaches for the door knob.
"Wait" I shout. " Please" I beg.
" Yes"
"Don't leave me here. I don't want to be alone" I cry out.
" I'm just going to call your family, I'll be back in a few minutes"
She leaves the room.
What really happened yesterday? Did I really try to kill myself?
The last thing I remember is my head spinning. I don't remember anything else after that.
The nurse walks back in.
"They are coming"
"Are they going to leave the funeral and come here? "
" Uh... I don't know" She shrugs.
After a few minutes of waiting, My brother and Phila walk in.
"You're alive" Phila throws herself at me.
"Of course I am alive" I laugh at her.
"What were you thinking?" The warm smile she had when she walked in is now replaced with sadness.
"I had a panic attack"
"You tried to kill yourself. You overdosed,cut your wrists...Chris, Why?"
She trembles under my hold.
" I didn't... " Tears rolled down my cheeks. I cry uncontrollably. Why are they lying?
"Is this normal?" Lwazi asks the nurse. "Her not remembering? "
" I'm not sure. She's been in and out of consciousness for almost two weeks now. This is the first time she's waking up and not passing out"
" Two weeks? What about Dad's funeral? " I ask.
"We buried Dad two weeks ago. Uncle Sizo refused to postpone the funeral" Phila explained.
