Maybe It's Goodbye

Kabanata 21

4 years after

I hold the trophy of recognition for best scriptwriter full of gladness and humbleness. I never thought this point of my life will come. Leaving my home country was ill seeking, but who would have thought that it will turn out into a beautiful experience. My journey to U.S is one of a kind. Everyone of us take a risk to achieve something and i made it.

I hold the trophy tight. I'm so proud of myself. I can say that this one is the most wonderful achievement i had made. Yun nga lang kulang pa rin dahil wala si mama at papa.

Nabingi ako sa ugong ng palakpakan ng mga naroon. Nasilaw ako sa flash ng camera galing sa mga reporters at mga taong naroon. This annual recognition for newbies had fulfilled the dreams of every aspiring writers and directors in the film industry. I know few Filipino people like me that take a risk to leave Philippine just to find their dreams here.

Marami rin akong pinagdaanan bago ko nakamit ang award na ito.

"Thank you for this recognition, surely i will cherish this every second of my life" i smiled

'and this will not be the last i will be receiving such award, i will make sure that more is coming' i want to say it out loud but keep it to myself.

Expectation just brings self pressure so It's better to keep quiet.

I heard word of praises from a few people i had known here. Habang pababa ako ng stage ay nakaabang si Justine sa akin sa hagdanan hawak ang isang boquet.

"Congratulations" nakangiti siyang iniabot sa akin ang kaniyang hawak.

"Thank you!" I said with a smile sincerely, this man never failed to support me everytime.

Pagkatapos ng awarding ay kumain kami sa isang restaurant bilang celebration. We book a private room na kami-kami lang ang naroon. We eat, drink a little and talk about random things.

"What's your plan after this Shen?" tanong ni Aiko habang tinutusok ng tinidor ang karne sa kanyang plato. She's one of the few people i know.

Magkasama kami sa iisang apartment kaya nagkaroon kami ng magandang pagsasama at naging magkaibigan.

Napansin ko ang tingin ni Justine sa akin. Nagtataka sa hindi ko pagsagot. Seriously hindi ko pa alam kung uuwi ba ako o itutuloy ko ang naumpisahan ko dito.

"Hindi ko pa alam"

"I am here to support you all the time whatever it is" i was touch by Justine's word. True he's always my number one supporter at hindi ko alam kung bakit niya ginagawa ito.

"Yeah right" it was Amie

"I wish i can find someone who will always be at my back" kunwa'y naiinggit na saad ni Aiko.

We just enjoyed the moment til we finish eating, i don't want to pressure my self. Hahanapin ko pa kung saan my opportunities bago mag desisyon.

Pagod akong humiga sa kama. Agad namang pumasok si Aiko sa bathroom at naligo. Binuksan ko ang aking cellphone and scroll out a little bit on facebook. Napatigil ako sa isang news tungkol kay sa bagong endorsement ni Elvin. Apat na taon ang lumipas ngunit patuloy pa rin na namamayagpag ang kaniyang pangalan samantalang ako heto at kakaumpisa pa lang. Nakakalungkot isipin sana kagaya niya ay magkaroon din ako ng magandang career.

I scroll again and suddenly his name pop up on my messenger.

"Congrats for making it the best scriptwriter" napangiti ako sa mensahe niya. It's short and heartwarming.

Umalis akong maayos kaming dalawa at patuloy pa rin ang komunikasyon namin. Although it's rare hindi katulad dati noong magkatextmate kami. I laugh at the thought na textmate kami dati at hindi niya alam iyon. I was thinking to reveal myself pero lagi akong natatakot noon at kinakabahan. It all started with a dare at tumuloy tuloy na nga.