relationships are great until you don't see eye to eye with one another.
stubbornness, insecurity, and arguments don't mix well when you're trying to make a relationship work.
can a relationship survive when insecurity and distance is involved? will...
7 days. it's been a week since we left for tour. i was so focused on tour itself and finally getting back to doing shows that i didn't have time to think about riley. but now... now things have slowed down a bit and we're into the routine of tour, and now i can't get the look on her face out of my head.
i'm the one who did this, i'm the one who made this decision... so why does it feel so bad. why do i see the image of her teary eyes right before she ran away everytime i close my eyes. up until now, tour's been a dream. every show has been great, i've loved meeting the fans, and hanging out with the guys everyday... yet all i want to do is text riley.
i've caught myself already today checking to see if she's messaged me... she hasn't. i thought about texting her, just to make sure she's alright... but that wouldn't be right. i made my decision and now i have to live with it... no matter how hard it is.
—𝗋𝗂𝗅𝖾𝗒'𝗌 𝗉𝗈𝗏— a whole week. today i actually got out of bed before noon... so that's progress. this week i've been nothing but miserable. i've called in sick to work as many times as i could without getting fired, and i've missed almost all my classes. funny how those were the two big reasons i didn't want to go on tour with daniel, yet here i am not going 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 of daniel.
daniel... it hurts to even think about him. i can't get his words to leave my mind "i don't love you riley, was that clear enough for you" they're like a ringing in my ears, it's always there. after the 3rd day i managed to stop crying myself to sleep, but when i see something that reminds me of him... i break down.
today i made myself get up, get dressed, and leave my house. i had already called into work, but i still had time to run by my last class. i may have looked like i was hit by a truck, because i definitely felt that way, but i wasn't going to let this ruin my life.
the more i thought about it all, the more i convinced myself this was a good thing. better to find out what kind of person he really was early on then waste too much time with someone who didn't really love me.
i walked in my math class and got several stares thrown my way, they were clearly surprised to see me. i took a seat in the back and focused in on the lesson for today. i looked around and noticed how even though my week's been absolutely horrible, everything else is moving along the same way it was before. something about that comforted me. i can get through this... i can get over him. ___________________________________
