relationships are great until you don't see eye to eye with one another.
stubbornness, insecurity, and arguments don't mix well when you're trying to make a relationship work.
can a relationship survive when insecurity and distance is involved? will...
after last night's train wreck of a first date i was really glad i had a free day today. i had no classes today and was off work, which was a rare occasion. i had a little homework to do before tomorrow, but that can be done later. right now i was just making myself some lunch and then planned to watch some tv for awhile... until my doorbell rang.
—𝖽𝖺𝗇𝗂𝖾𝗅'𝗌 𝗉𝗈𝗏— my plane landed at about 4am, but i didn't think showing up to her apartment before the sun was up would be a good idea. so i went home and tried to sleep, although it was hard to do since i was so nervous for what she's going to say or how she'll react.
i never get nervous to perform a new song i've wrote, but this is so much more than that. this was the most vulnerable i've ever been when writing lyrics and it means so much to me because i want her to know how sorry i am.
i managed to make myself wait until lunch to go over, although at about 8am i almost jumped in my car and drove over... i didn't though. i pulled up outside of her apartment building and all my emotions were going crazy. i was so nervous, yet so happy to see her again... i could also cry because of the fear she might still hate me.
i walked up to her front door with my guitar strapped around my body, here we go. i knocked on the door and it felt like forever before i finally heard the doorknob start to jiggle. all the air left my lungs when she opened the door and i saw her face for the first time in person in so long. she looked shocked and very confused to see me "daniel... what are you doing here?" she asked me
"i really need to talk to you" i said, desperately hoping she didn't just slam the door in my face. "um... well you can come in, i guess" she said hesitantly as she made room for me to walk inside. i walked over to her couch and took a seat, she took a seat on the opposite end of the couch, like she was afraid to get too close to me.
"i just want to start off my saying i'm so, so extremely sorry for how things ended between us. you were right when you said i was insecure, i was. i thought you were going to find someone else while i was away and forget about me. i thought it'd be easier if i ended things before you had the chance to break my heart... but i was wrong, so wrong. i broke my own heart when i watched you run out crying, i just didn't realize it yet" i blurted out.
"every day on tour has been even more miserable than the last without having you in my life. i made the biggest mistake of my life when i hurt you, because i hurt myself even more in the process. i didn't mean it when i said i didn't love you, i've never stopped loving you and i never will. i know i don't deserve a second chance, but i just want you to hear me out. i- i wrote this song... it's basically how i've felt without you. i would totally understand if you kicked me out right now and never wanted to see me again... but i hope you'll atleast let me play it for you first" i said, and all she did was nod her head to say i could. ___________________________________
