Unforgettable Memories |Erwin x Reader|

Illusions

3rd person pov:

- fast forward 2 weeks-

You have been out of the infirmary for about 3 days now. Forced to take things easy by the Commander, your days consisted of paper work and cooking. You helped the chefs make breakfast, lunch and dinner for all the cadets. Not going to lie, it was soothing to you. Cooking was something that you were skilled at. Your grandma taught you how to cook when you were younger, so you had years of experience.

Life back home was so simple. Instead of jumping and slaughtering titans, you were taking care of siblings, or helping your neighbors. You were well known and liked in your village. Everyone had the upmost respect for you. The parents were fond of you as you often helped with their kids in school, chores or self defense.

Your good characteristics never left when you joined the corps. They ended up growing as you never knew when it was the last time you would see everybody.

These thoughts running across your mind were interrupted by one of the chefs. "You are done for today and for the week. Thank you so much for your help and tips." She smiled softly, hugging you.

"No, thank you for letting me help. I couldn't of had a better job. I hope to help you guys again soon." You smiled, leaving the kitchen and to the dining hall.

A boy whistled at you and called out, "Ooo she looks sexy in that apron. Serve me chef!"

Turning to the commotion you saw Jean calling out. You chuckled slightly, heading towards the table. You took off the apron and placed it on your seat.

A hard hand swatted at Jean's head coming from Reiner.

"She is mine, not yours." He scoffed, placing his arm on your shoulders.

"Relax bro, you know I am just playing around. Mikasa's got my eye anyways." He said, his eyes turning to hearts as he looked at her. Mikasa was sitting with Eren and Armin at the table behind us.

"Anyways, I'll be able to start training with you guys again today. Well at least more physical stuff." You reassured, taking the bread off of Reiner's plate. "Oh, and this is for when you got me in trouble." Everyone at the table laughed.

"All you brats, it is time for bed. You all have early mornings tomorrow. Clean up too, you all wreak!" Captain Levi called from the doorway.

The cadets rose to their feet and put their plates away. Everyone had then left to go to their rooms.

"Sunrise, meet at my room. We will depart from there." You said to Reiner and Bertolt, hugging them both and walking towards the hall.

The path you took was different than everybody else's. You took the long way, going down the stairs, passing by the offices and then back up the opposite stairs to your room.

As you walked alone, tears started to fall down your face. Even though you appeared happy in front of everybody, you were still in grief. After not being able to save that child, he has haunted your dreams. He was vividly in your thoughts, every moment of the day. The cries from his mother, the blood that would splatter onto your face, the soot and ash that would crawl up your arms. These things just never seemed to go away, and you again were dealing with one of these illusions.

You sprinted into the closest bathroom, trying to rub your arms clean. "Why won't it come off? Come off! Come on, get off of me!" You sobbed, scrubbing so violently that your arms than turns red. The redness caused you to snap back into reality, and the dirtiness was gone. Turning off the water you dropped to your knees, tears continuing to fall from your eyes.

A knock rang on the door, but you failed to hear it as your cries overtook your ears.

"Y/n? Hey, hey, hey, is everything okay? What's wrong?" The commanders soft voice said.

"It... it.. it wouldn't come.. come off." You stuttered, your voice shaking.

"What won't?" He asked, confused.

"My arms, look!" You stood up, turning the sink back on, scrubbing at your arms. Your gaze rose to the mirror as blood covered your face. "No! Look, my face! His blood!" The water now was being thrown onto your face.

Erwin's heart dropped as he saw you rubbing at your perfectly clean arms and face. A frown appeared on him as he pulled you away from the water.

"There isn't anything on your arms. They are clean. Your face is fine as well," He sighed, leading you towards his room.

"It's there! You can't see it? Commander, you know I wouldn't lie." You cried out, being dragged by the commander.

Erwin ignored the words that came out of your mouth as he sat you down on his bed. He kneeled down and looked up at you. His beautiful blue eyes gleamed in the moon light. They caught the wild glance of your e/c eyes.

"I need you to listen to me." He spoke softly, trying to catch your gaze.

You were looking around frantically, as if you were still stuck in this illusion. Yet again you snapped out of it by Erwin. His hand gripped your chin firmly as it guided its way towards his eyes. The two of you made eye contact.

"What's going on. What are seeing on your arms?" He asked.

"I.. I am fine. I think I was just... sleep walking?" The lie you told faulted as it was unconceived.

The commanders eyebrows began to droop at your lousy excuse.

"I'm sorry sir. I just feel like I would get penalized if I told you. I really don't want this to affect me or my job." You frowned, looking down at your feet.

"You won't get in trouble. Something is clearly bothering you, so please, let me help." He said, his hands falling down onto yours.

Pushing way his hands you stood up. "Commander I am alright, really. I just had a little too much to drink." You lied again, walking towards the door.

A strong hand gripped your wrist and flung you backwards. Your back was than pushed up against the door, and your hands restrained on either side of your head. Erwin was looking at you, anger mixed with concern filling his eyes.

This started to make you worry as Erwin was almost always emotionless. This was one of the first times you have ever seen his expression change so dramatically.

You swallowed your spit as you met his eyes. Both of your breathing intensified the longer you stood in that position.

"You need to tell me what's wrong. I won't allow one of my captains to feel lonely and hopeless." He demanded, his grip tightening.

"Sir, can you please let go, it's starting to hurt." You gulped, turning your face away.

His grip loosened as he came to realize that he was hurting you. He looked flustered and scared as he backed up, holding the back of his neck. "I'm sorry about that." Erwin said, clearing his throat.

You finally looked back over to him and exposed what was torturing you...