A First Love to Die For

Chapter Two- A Mission Like No Other

(Josie's POV)

The sound of my feet pounding the pavement echoed through the early morning, as Nicki Minaj blasted in my ears. My lungs had been burning for the last twenty minutes, but I couldn't bring myself to slow down or to care.

I had woken up again at three-thirty in the morning. No amount of tossing and turning was going to put me back to sleep. Instead, I found myself pulling my blonde hair up into a pony, lacing my sneakers, throwing on a hoodie and wincing at the deep shadows under my blue eyes before trying to run off my stress.

Sleepless nights were part of my norm and this morning or last night was no different. My boss Charlie had summoned me for a meeting at six-thirty this morning and I knew that meant I was being sent off again.

It wasn't that I hated going undercover; I loved it. Plus, I was good at it. At pulling on someone else's persona and diving into other people's lives. I loved solving puzzles and keeping other people safe but lately, I felt like the only time I was comfortable was when I was acting like someone else.

It was like I was forgetting what it felt like to just be in my own skin.

I'd been pulling away from everyone that cared about me and I was experienced enough to recognize the warning signs of serious burnout.

More connections were what I needed, but trust was tricky for me, and as a result, I was fucking lonely. Whenever I swiped right or went out with the girls to pick someone up, it only seemed to leave me lonelier than before.

I was just tired and if the early morning meeting was another mission, it was too fucking soon after the last. I had just been out for six weeks. It had taken us three cities and two more victims before we had finally caught our last killer. Those final days had been rough on all of us. We had almost lost a team member, which means we were all due for a break. We needed to get our heads on straight.

The whole team was scheduled for some down time and I worried that this early morning meeting was going to rob me of my rest and relaxation. The lack of a break had weighed me down all through the night.

I sighed as I realized that I'd circled back to my apartment. I let myself in, breathing in the sweet aroma of fresh coffee. I had switched it on before leaving on my run. Coffee wasn't something that should be messed around with and I always prepared it ahead. I wasn't the kind of person you wanted to see without caffeine.

As I peeled off my clothes and hopped in the shower, I had the same flashback I always did of his hard body caging me in as he took the hit of cold water, shielding me as it warmed up. I squeezed my eyes shut, needing to block out the memories. I shook my head, considering it was a testament to how fucked up I was. My first love; the one that left my heart in tatters, was the one whose memories were burned into my brain. 

I forced the thoughts of Lincoln back where he belonged, the dark, forbidden corners of my brain and finished getting ready, filled my travel mug and headed to the stupid meeting. When I got to Charlie's office, he was on the phone, so I walked over and grabbed a donut and topped up my coffee, glancing out the fourth-floor window and down at the still empty parking lot.

My eyes strayed back to his office as I ate the icing off and tossed the rest of the donut, I felt the same way about muffin tops, why eat the bottom? Charlie's melodic voice caught my attention He was singing "the itsy-bitsy spider" and I knew he must have snuck out before his wife and two-year-old daughter woke up. As he hung up, he pointed at me, his dark skin crinkling at the corners, his smiling eyes teasing me as he said, "Tell no one of this!"

I choked on my coffee a little, laughed and responded, "It looks good on you." I meant it, I wanted someone to care about me the way that he did about Jade and little Belle.

He walked outside to pour himself some more coffee and I smiled into my cup. His shaved head almost hit the door frame as he walked through and his muscled frame took up nearly the whole doorway. It warmed my heart that this wonderful man had found a love that lit him up with happiness.

It also gave me a little jolt of hope. The proof that someone in our profession could have a successful love life.

He returned my smile and then his gaze got serious as we walked back into his office. I followed his gaze to the murder board he had already set up. Shit, I did a second take... it was Fenelon Falls. As I took another sip of my coffee my mind started racing.

He came back in, noticed what held my attention and with a deep sigh, he said, "Josie, this is shit, I know it's too soon. But, I think it has to be you."

"Fenelon? My dad is still in Fenelon." I shook my head, trying to clear it. He obviously knew that.

I couldn't seem to catch my bearings. As he finished explaining everything that they knew so far, he mentioned that the Chief of Police had reached out for a team immediately. My heart ached at the thought of Lincoln, but I swallowed it down. "Josie, we know based on the coroner's timing, the time frame is escalating. You know the town; you could go back in as yourself. I know I should send someone else... I'm aware that you need a break, but you're already established in the community; we wouldn't even need to get together a cover story."

I thought about it for a moment, it was not our normal protocol. Normally we would set up an alternate identity. What he was proposing was for me to go back home as myself, not undercover.

Could it work? Only a select few people back at home knew what I did; most just knew I was a police officer. It would be the fastest way to get a team in place and an extended visit home was long overdue. I hadn't been back much since my best friend, Hailey's wedding and hadn't visited at all in the last year. Although my Dad, Hailey and I were still very close, they usually came to visit me, or we met somewhere for vacations.

"Do you know the Chief of Police, Lincoln Sawyer?"

Fuck. There was nothing that could have prepared me for this morning. Did I know Lincoln? I played with the idea of answering honestly.

He ruined me, body and soul.

"Yeah, I know him."

He looked at me for an elongated moment, probably suspicious at the wobble in my voice, but when I didn't say anything else, he laid out his thinking.

"Perfect, because I think it would be best for our case if you played up that connection to him. I'll tell him the same."

I worked at unclenching my hands. I knew that this made complete sense, but shit! It was going to be tough.

"If I reach out to my dad, I think there is a good chance we could set up someone at his brewery. He does great business and it's the social hub for the town and surrounding areas."

The tapping of his pen increased, "That could work! I think you should be on "leave" after a tough case."

I raised my brows at him, knowing that he wasn't oblivious. Our whole team should be off for an extended leave.

He ignored me and continued, "I'm sending you, Lee and Lucy for now."

I sighed, glad because there was no pair that I would rather have with me but worried because I knew it was too soon.  It was going to be tough for all of us, especially me. Fenelon Falls might carry some sour memories for me, but it was my childhood home. The fact that someone was hunting in my hometown didn't sit well with me.

"We'll set Lee up at my dad's brewery." I knew I would be spending a lot of time there too. It would give me a way to get out in the open, to observe and interact with lots of people.

On the completely negative side of things, I would have to interact with lots of people. I shook my head at my thoughts. At this point, Lincoln was ancient history. He had shown his true colours more than once. I needed to get over it, move on and most importantly do my job.

I knew that he was the reason I never really allowed myself to get close to a man again, maybe this would give me some closure and help me evolve into someone who could handle an actual relationship.

I looked at Charles and confirmed, "All right let's set it all in motion. I'll brief Lee and Lucy tonight."