A First Love to Die For

Chapter Twenty- At The Heart Of Everything... I Just Didn't Trust Him

(Josie's POV)

I rolled over and hit my pillow a couple of times. Was it possible to ask for hazard pay for your heart?

The fact that our killer had already gotten a victim under my nose was infuriating. The reality that it was Chantelle and that I felt responsible was heartbreaking.

Add in the fact that old habits are hard to break and my feelings were taking quite the beating. I had been dealing with my own emotions yesterday, but I had also somehow taken on Lincolns. For whatever reason, after all this time I was still incredibly sensitive to how he was feeling. It had made for a tumultuous day and at the end when my dad asked if I wanted to come over for dinner and a movie, I had readily agreed. I needed a distraction.

I had fallen asleep halfway through the movie and then decided to sleep here. Although once the movie was over, sleep didn't come easy and this morning, I didn't want to get up to face any of it.

I waited until my dad had left to do his morning errands for the bar before I got up. I knew he would have all kinds of questions about yesterday and I wasn't ready to talk about it.

I was making myself a coffee when I heard the knock on the door. I looked down at myself and my ridiculous sponge bob pyjamas and shrugged as I walked over to the door. As I came up to the window and saw Lincoln, I cringed.

I wasn't ready to talk to him but also knew that if I could see him, he could see me too. It was too late to hide.

I opened the door to a smirk and his comment, "You always did have the best pajamas."

I felt myself flush but chose to ignore the comment. I added an extra strut to my step to show that he hadn't bothered me and heard his chuckle as I walked towards the kitchen, assuming he would follow. "I thought we were going to meet at the store?" 

I poured him a coffee and waited for him to explain why he was here. "I actually wanted to talk about some non-work stuff and figured it would be better to catch you here before we tackle today's agenda."

Shit. I stirred the goods into my own coffee and considered. After yesterday, I had been wondering if he was struggling as much as I was. Maybe he just needed it all out in the open. I wasn't sure that talking about it was going to help me keep my professional façade. But, at this point, I questioned how great I was faking it anyway.

The curiosity and nerves were mixing together at an alarming rate and to get a handle on my spinning thoughts I asked, "Do you want to go down and have coffee by the water?"

He nodded and looked relieved that I wasn't going to shut him down. I handed him his coffee and picked through the container to find a blueberry muffin for him, knowing they were his favourite. Then I grabbed my own breakfast and we walked out the back door, down to the lake.

We took a seat on a couple of the colourful Adirondack chairs my dad had set up looking over the water. The lake looked like glass today. There was something so peaceful about looking out at the still water.

I took a deep breath and said, "Man I've missed the lake."

He gave me a tight smile and just nodded. I could feel the tension pouring off him. "Hailey came to talk to me this morning."

Oh god. I should have known that she wouldn't have been able to contain herself from confronting him. "I'm sorry."

He waved off my apology and looked me in the eyes. "Is it true?" I wasn't exactly sure what he was talking about and raised my eyebrows in question. " You thought I cheated on you with Candy and broke up with me?"

I was confused. I took a sip of my coffee trying to rein in my thoughts, "Of course it was, what did you think?"

He took a deep breath and said, "Jesus Christ I wish we had this conversation a long time ago. Josie, I had no idea why you broke up with me like that."