A First Love to Die For

Chapter Fifteen- Lies of Omission

(Josie's POV)

Addy was away visiting her mom for a couple of days. Hailey and I made plans to head over there for breakfast on Tuesday morning when she was back. I had asked her over the phone if she could remember the drama that Candy had been talking about, but she couldn't recall.

She was hoping that the dates and photos would jog her memory but also told me to remember my information source.

Candy has drama follow her around, don't put too much stock in what she says.

Hailey had jumped on the fact that I was free and making plans, which is how I found myself sitting down with Hailey and Gabriel for some pizza and wine.

Gabriel kept giving me the side-eye and I knew that Hailey had filled him in on what my team specializes in.

I started counting in my head, knowing that there was no way he lasted a full minute before the questions exploded out of him. He made it longer than expected. At 41 seconds he smiled at me and said, "So, serial killers?" He paused and looked proud of himself for waiting as long as he did.

Hailey scoffed, "Gabriel that's not even a question."

Gabriel laughed at his wife's annoyance but then looked at me seriously, "How did you find yourself doing this Josie?"

"It kind of just happened. I was pulled into undercover work right out of college and my boss brought me in when I was looking for a change."

He nodded and I could see more inquiries sparking in his eyes but what he asked was, "How're you and Lincoln finding working together?"

I knew he was well-meaning but I hadn't had the most enjoyable day. Coming off the lack of sleep from last night, I would way rather talk about my job than have to talk about the struggle of interacting with Lincoln.

"As well as can be expected. Tell me about the new hotel you and Liam are building. Hailey said it's going to be massive."

I looked over at my friend who simply gave me a gentle smile at my subject change. Gabriel launched into an excited description of the waterfront hotel that him and his business partner had been contracted for. It was going to be both a summer and winter retreat and his company had never done anything like this before.

As we ate, I could feel Hailey's gaze on me. I knew she was worried, and I didn't know how to ease her concern.

People didn't talk about the struggle as you got older of the relationship/friend dilemma. When you had or developed mutual friends, breakups could be tough.

In the case of Lincoln, I had loved his whole family and never wanted to involve anyone in the drama and hurt of him cheating on me. Separations were hard for everyone to balance and so at the time, I had managed with silence.  But right now, all I wanted was for my friend to comfort me and tell me that I could do this.

"Well ladies, I have a game that I'm going to watch downstairs. I'm going to give you some alone time."

Gabriel got up and put his plate in the dishwasher and then walked back and gave Hailey a kiss. He walked over and gave me a little hug before he walked towards the door. He made it through and then backtracked for a second. "Oh, I forgot, I bought you guys some Kawartha ice-cream on my way home tonight!"

Hailey looked at the doorway that he had disappeared through with a loving expression on her face, "I friggin love that man!"

I laughed and helped her clean up the table.
"Want more wine?"The two of them had been trying to get pregnant for a while. At first, she had sworn off booze completely but as they hit the year mark, she had decided that she would have a drink here and there.

She gave me a sad smile as she answered, "I'm going to switch to an apple cinnamon tea."

I felt my heart clench. I know how bad she wanted to get pregnant and the more time that passed, the more worried she got about it.

"I'll join you. It'll go better with the ice-cream anyway." I walked over and opened the freezer, knowing that she wasn't going to say no.

As she got down the bowls she asked, "How is Trigg doing, you never explained what happened?"

The wine and the day had combined to loosen my tongue and before I thought better of it, I found myself saying, "He saved my life is what happened."

Hailey swallowed a big mouthful of tea and then gasped, "Hot!"

Shoot, I knew I was really tired because my filter was non-existent. "Sorry, he's okay. It just knicked him but he took a bullet for me and I'm still shaken up about it."

She nodded and side-eyed me as she took a big bite of pralines and cream. Around her spoon she mumbled, "Anything else you're shaken up about? How's it being home?"

I ate a spoonful myself, focusing on the cool, creamy caramel and trying to swallow the words that wanted to burst out of me. I had kept her shielded for a reason. I didn't want to give in, but it felt like my emotions were pressurized, too wild to contain. If I didn't talk about it, I was going to explode.

I felt tears pooling, "Honestly Hailey, any time I'm here, I feel like I'm completely at war with myself. I've never gotten over Lincoln and every time that I see him my poor heart feels like it finally found its way home."

She gave a little excited squeak, and I knew I needed to explain further. "My head on the other hand spends the whole time that I'm here battling my heart and reminding me that we would never work. He'll just break my heart all over again. And now I'm here for work and there's a maniac killing girls and honestly... it's not my favourite visit of all time."

Hailey knew how to talk but she also knew how to listen, and she just sat there with me, quietly stirring her ice cream and waiting for me to continue. The misery on her face tore at my own heart as she asked, "Josie, what happened to make you feel like you guys would never work? He's never gotten over you either. I've always thought you mutually broke each other's hearts."

I knew that I should just keep a lid on it. I had intentionally kept her and Gabriel out of the whole situation. They didn't need to deal with my drama, but somehow I found it pouring out of me, "I walked in on him fucking Candy, is what happened. I just can't open myself up to that kind of hurt again."

I felt Hailey's arms come around me and I let myself melt into the hug, recognizing that although I didn't think it was the right thing to do, finally telling her had lifted the weight of a secret off my shoulders.

I couldn't help but laugh through my tears, the fury she was spewing into my ears was over the top. I knew I was going to have to calm her down and convince her not to talk to Lincoln about it. 

For now though, I let her fury wash over me and help harden the barrier around my heart.