When Everything Fails (De Chavez #2)

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

I PUSHED the pedal of my piano. I closed my eyes and let the passion course through my veins— the flames that were quenched a long time ago seemed to flicker to life but it was a minimal flick of flame and soon it ended up being just an ember fire dying in the cool night breeze. As I drew a breath, my fingers stopped as if my mind went haywire, notes jumbled, and I didn't know what to do next.

I'd been playing the piano for almost an hour now but nothing seemed to repair my dysfunctional hand and mind. A soft and low curse slipped out of my lips as I tipped my chin up, with closed eyes, I exhaled sharply. The cold air-conditioner was lingering into every pore on my skin. The lonely Saturday night was clipped with a hunger to surpass this challenge— my inability to play the piano or other musical instrument. My chest painfully clenched when a poisonous thought ripped off the little splinter of hope in my chest. Maybe, I couldn't play anymore. I knew that the banishment of my Mother from my life was to blame for this. But the words of my father kept on ringing in my head like a vice trying to clutched tightly around my brain.

"Damn it," I hissed as I absentmindedly raked my hand through my scalp. My jaw ticked as I looked at the dust caking the upper part of the piano, or to the cobwebs decorating the whole room projecting some horrific scene from some horror film.

It was my free time to play the piano while my Father was nowhere to be found. He had a shooting and he'll not be home for tonight so I had enough time to see how I was going with the shit crammed in my head right now— and to be honest, a way to escape the raging sadness and loneliness away from Kei de Chavez.

That day.

After I realized that I was falling for someone I ought to hate in my entire life, I ran off— an act of cowardice. The warrior within me has succumbed to the thought of having feelings for Kei. I cried out loud when I got to my room and questioned myself why I was a coward in this aspect. I was afraid; I wasn't tough enough to step forward into that department. I couldn't... I shouldn't.

A week since that happened went roughly on my part. It was so hard to distance myself from Kei especially when he was clueless about what the hell was happening in my mind. I wanted to burst out, to spit right to his beautiful face that I was starting to feel something for him— something that he might not like to hear. I knew that I've heard lots of flowery words from Kei but up until now, I wasn't sure if he meant those things. Those words that slipped out of his lips were riling me up, until a tingle starts to zap through my back, flicked right to the top of my buttocks. I pursed my lips as I mustered the strength left in my body and rose to my feet. I paid one glance at the piano before I stormed out of the room. I couldn't really do this when I was preoccupied with something— someone.

I received a text from Kei, asking me if I was okay but I just replied to him with a cold-word 'OK' and didn't bother to look at his follow-up message. He was messing my mind so bad I had to think throwing up will smooth things up again. I wish it would because as of today, the only thing I wanted to was to remove this little fire before it permeates all my body like a wildfire. But how would I forget this feeling when Kei was bothering me even in my dreams. And how would I distance myself from him if we were working together for our performance in December. I guessed destiny really did a fucking research to mess up with my feelings. A heap of emotions quaked through me, issuing a soft curse to rumble through my throat.

As I emerged from the abandoned music room in our house, my eyes flitted outside the window. The vicinity was filled with solid darkness and I apprehended that some stormy night would happen about an hour from now. Inside, I could hear the rustling of leaves from some of our trees and the clapping of some things just in the perimeter of the house. The gusts hoisted some dry leaves, making them scrap through the ground before it took a flight up in the sordid darkness occupying the area. No sliver of light could make me feel safe outside, I could say it. As the lightning broke through the voided darkness, a clap of thunder followed. That was a cue for me to go upstairs and make my night routine before I throw myself to my bed.