When Everything Fails (De Chavez #2)

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

SHE WAS happy now. I breathed heavily as I stared at the woman who was happily looking at her little family. Her eyes were sparkling with so much contentment and felicity— the sparkle that I once witnessed when I was a child.

As the thick bank of clouds gathered throughout the sky, making the vicinity covered with silver light as some slice of sharp silver light sank through the spaces of the clouds. I felt the back of my eyes burn but I fought back the tears to stream down to my cheeks. I balled my fists as I let my anger overshadowed any longing for her. For my mother who abandoned me— abandoned us.

She was selfish. I hated her. I will always hate her.

I gritted my teeth as I turned my back to them. Bakit pa kasi ako pumunta rito? I know that she'll just hurt me. She will just evoke something I was afraid to feel. But now, I felt it again. I felt the pain. The fear. The anger. I felt empty yet filled with wrath that seemed to rip any rational senses in me. My chest was constricting as if my heart was about to stop pumping and I had to draw in a breath to steady myself.

With wobbling knees, I gathered all the strength that I could muster as I walked toward the car that was parked across the street. As I was walking, the sharp stabs of dagger right through my chest drained my energy. I was about to topple against the ground as my energy milked out of my body but thankfully, I got a hold of the car before that happened. Tears prickled at the rim of my eyes but I fought back. No, I chided myself. Not like this. Not for some unworthy woman. She wasn't worthy of your tears, Aisha. For someone who neglected her child, she wasn't worth those tears of yours so stop crying and be strong.

For years that she was away, I planted in my head that I hated her but I knew to myself that I was hoping for something else to happen— hoping for her to come back into our lives and pick up the broken pieces of our family. However, she did not. She came back, yes but she came back to wreak havoc on our lives. Every night, I witnessed how my father dips himself into the chasm of misery, crying out her name, begging her to come back through the silent whispers of the wind and biting darkness of the night. The scene awhile provoked the anger in me and I had never felt this anger before. While my father was grieving and desperately wishing for her to come back; she was there enjoying her life like she never had a family she left behind.

"A-Aisha...?" A familiar voice cracked behind me.

A familiar voice. A very familiar voice. Anger zapped through me as my jaw ticked. I stilled by the car but my grip onto the car's door handle tightened and I could see the white forming on top of my knuckles.

"Aisha, a-anak, ikaw ba 'yan?

Her voice. Her soothing voice. The voice that used to calm my aggravating anger when I was a child; the voice I used to love to hear before I fall asleep— but now, it only evokes an emotion that would satisfy my anger towards her. Despite the soothing voice she was shooting right through my ears, I didn't pivot to face her. Not now that the rim of my eyes prickled for the threatening of tears. Dapat ipakita ko sa kaniya na okay na ako, na ayos na ako at hindi ko siya kailangan sa aking buhay. Gusto kong saktan siya. Gusto kong ipakita na wala akong pakialam sa presensya niya at kailan man ay hindi niya na ako naaapektohan.

I didn't turn to face her. Instead, I pushed the door open and was supposed to jump in the car when I felt her cold fingers wrapped around my wrist. Pain instantly struck through my head, giving the reason the thread of restraint in my body snap. Without looking at her, I aggressively shook my arm to get off her. However, her grip was tight I had to look at her to shoot her a glance with the gleam of wrath swirling around my eyes.