When Everything Fails (De Chavez #2)

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

warning: mature content. read at your own risk.

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

MY HEART was trying to ravage my ribcage. That was for sure. As I wrapped my arms around Kei's neck, pressing my cheek against his ironclad chest, I could feel the hard wallops of his heart against his chest. Tears started to burn at the rims of my eyes, lips started to quiver for the words I might utter later, chest started to hurt for the inevitable.

We swayed silently, taking in the melody of the song. The wind started to slip in through the open balcony, shuffling the perfectly disheveled mass of hair of Kei. As I tipped my chin up, the soulful orbs welcomed me. They were darkly penetrating, but emitting transparent emotions nonetheless. I traced my eyes from the soft but thick mass of disheveled hair, down to his thick eyebrows, dark long lashes that perfectly framed his pitch-black eyes, to his impeccably carved nose, and finally, to his lips that were thin and soft at the same time.

I would miss him for sure. When Kei dipped his head, I tiptoed and met him halfway. When my lips crashed against his, thirty different emotions started to dance in my chest, doing the same in my head— imploring me to stay beside Kei; keep him with me; be selfish. But I cannot do it. Not with him. It was all perfect when I was with him but I cannot do it. Kei deserved better. He deserved best— and obviously not the love in the dark I can only offer to him.

"What's wrong, baby. . ." He mumbled while softly kissing my lips.

I was lost in words at the moment. I wanted to savor every moment I had with him because, after this night, I will wake up without him in my arms. I implored myself to keep my distance, to put a barrier between us, to make this a little easy but I was fucked up. For the last time, I wanted to be selfish— only tonight. After this, I'd hurt myself for hurting the only man who inspired me; who taught me that no matter how many times I failed, I needed to stand because behind those failures was something bigger.

When I pulled away from the kiss, Kei looked at me using a confused expression. His eyes cast an absolute glint of apprehension but tried to calm the peaking pain in its wake. I swallowed hard and chewed the bottom of my lips. Tears started to stream down to my cheek like a river during a storm— so drastic and unstoppable. He cupped either side of my face and brushed the tears coating my cheeks using his thumbs.

His brows pinched in as if it frustrated him looking at me like this. He was confused as to why I was acting weird? I knew that he felt something was wrong but I also knew that he was trying to fend off the obvious.

"Kei. . ." I called his name. The way his name left my lips, I felt a shiver down my spine. It seemed like this was the last time I can utter that name.

"What's wrong, Alessandra?" His voice was soothing me.

He was the calm in my storm, he was the light in my darkness. He was the victory in my failures. . . yet I needed to let go of him.

"This won't work out," I managed to deliver that word without quivering.

I pushed myself away from him, leaving just feet proximity between us. I watched his facial expression metamorphosed from adoration to complete confusion. His brows pulled in; eyes cast different flashes of emotions but settled on perplexity. When his eyes softened but the confusion remained solid on his eyes, he moved forward, closing the distance I set between us. Realization settled into his eyes. I swallowed hard when he claimed my hands, thumbs were slightly rubbing the back of my palms.

"What are you saying, babe? We can do this. We can work this out. . ." He tried to feign a smile but when my expression stayed blank and pensive, his forehead wrinkled, "You are not breaking up with me, are you?"