When Everything Fails (De Chavez #2)

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Christmas rolled in with the cold breeze and the fantastic ambiance of the holidays. As I walked toward my balcony, I gathered the sheer curtain dancing over and put it aside as the cool and crisp wind crawled through my bare skin, evoking a soft sigh slip out of my parted lips. I squinted as the soft cradle of the morning sun welcomed me. As I adjusted to the beam of the sun, I looked over the garden just above me. I inhaled slowly, savoring the scent of morning dew vaporizing by the early sun. Chirps of the bird laced with so much energy— an opposite of what I pet inside my chest.

I felt lost. I longed for someone away from me. I breathed sharply as I looked at my phone. It's past midnight in Amsterdam. Was he still awake? But I didn't want to interrupt his sleep if he was asleep. But the monster in me was thrashing my stomach, clawing my throat until I was tempted to click his name. He was active but I knew that he purposely opened his phone's internet connection in case I wanted to call. He said it to me. He also said that I call anytime if I missed him.

Every second of every day, I felt a longing feeling. I felt alone right now. The hollow of loneliness dug deep in me, letting the monster win over me. I shook my head as I dialed his name on Messenger. We usually talked through this app. Seldom we used Skype. It had been two weeks since he left for their vacation with his family. He said that they'll spend most days visiting some country in Europe then will spend Christmas day until New Year in Amsterdam. He was enjoying it. He always tells me about the sites they were visiting. I'd been in some of the countries he said but never did I felt the happiness and contentment like the ones swirling all over his expression.

To be blunt, I'd never spent it in a way to satisfaction. I'd been always regretting going there. With my Father, it wasn't like a vacation. It was mostly like a patch-up of the holes in our relationship. I never complained. I wanted it but I just didn't feel anything about it. I wanted to feel something. I wanted to feel content. I wanted to sport a smile that could light up the world. But I couldn't.

Papa decided that we'll just spend the holidays at home. I'd been working on decorating the house with Christmas trees and the likes to ward off the dark atmosphere percolated. The ambiance of Christmas always made me feel at ease. The holiday sales; the Christmas jingles resonating in every department; the soft cradle of the wind; the silver light that comes from the sun that was blocked by the thin layer of clouds.

The ease that comes from the ambiance of Christmas offsets the loneliness I felt right now.

Yesterday, Papa seemed enthused by something someone over the phone telling him. When I got home from the department store, I caught him talking to someone over the phone. He seemed excited about what they were talking about. It made me curious especially since Papa smiled widely at me when he saw me entered the room. I wanted to ask what was it but I bit back the word to slip. I assumed that it was another project offered to him— I never bothered to affirm my assumption since I was afraid that he might bring up again the dryness of my acting career. I didn't care about it. Hadn't he too pushy and demanding, I would have neglected this path. However, I knew that this would make him happy— even though it makes me someone I wasn't.

I never told him about my relationship with Kei. He would not approve of it. I was certain of that. I wasn't ready to tell him about that... not yet at least. Maybe some other time— when I had the courage to admit it to him.

"Hey..." I raspy voice resonated from my phone.

I snapped from my trance as I looked over at Kei. The room he was in was dark; I could not even make out the outline of his figure. He murmured something groggily before a shuffling sound reverberated. I just realized that he rose to flick the switch of the lamp on his nightstand. My eyes widened when I saw his naked chest, a silver necklace was hanging over his neck, and the pendant slapped his chest a few times before settling on his skin. His face was disheveled and his eyelids were swollen a bit because of sleep. He wetted the bottom of his lips with several sweeps of his tongue over it.