TNT: Trauma, Nutting, Tears (kagestuck)

Revenge kinda tastes like toxic bomb fumes

(A/N: back to our regularly scheduled shitposting)

He didn't knock.

He just kind of walked into her house.

"Hey, Jade-chan!" Konoha smiled as he bursted through her door. "JEBUS CHRIST, KONOHA! YOU SCARED THE SPRINKLES OUT OF ME!" She shouted, dropping her official Homestuck, Book 1, Volume 1, by Andrew Hussie hardcover available now at Target for only $14.79 (plus shipping.)

"I guess it's time already?" She picked up the book, somewhat frowning. "Yep!" He smiled and held out his hand to the younger girl. "Let's do this shit! >:D" She confidently said, grabbing his hand. Konoha began running.

And Jade began screaming.

By the time they were in Canada, Jade was vomiting behind a tree. Who knew running at the speed of light could give you motion sickness?

Konoha pulled out his phone to check a text from Seto. "He said he'll be here in 10 minutes!" He shouted to Jade, who gave him a thumbs up whilst still spewing her guts.

Ten minutes had passed and Jade finally stopped puking. "Alright, thank you for your assistance, Konoha, but you can leave now." Seto said as he walked up to Vriska's front porch with the other two. "Where's Ene?" He asked, tilting his head.

"What did you tell him??" Jade angrily whispered to Seto. "It was the only way I could get him here I just-" He started before redirecting himself to talk to Konoha. "Listen, buddy," He put a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Ene......" He was about to tell him the truth but noticed the sad look on his face.

"Isssssss ACTUALLY AT KARKAT'S HOUSE AND YOU NEED TO GO FAST TO GET HER BACK FROM KARK BECAUSE HE'S A LADY STEALER GO GO NOW GO GET EM!" Seto shook Konoha back and forth. "OH NO!" He screamed. "OH YES!" Seto replied. "YOU BETTER GET GOING BEFORE ITS TOO LATE." He let go of him and Konoha quickly waved them goodbye before running to Karkat's house.

Jade just shook her head at him. "What? I wasn't entirely lying. I'm like.. 85% sure she's at Karkat's house." He took off his backpack and began rummaging through it before pulling out a glass bottle and a wet rag. Jade wasn't stupid.

"Dude is that a molotov cocktail? I-i thought we were just gonna let off a stink bomb or something. There's no need for that." Jade tried to convince him as he poured liquid fuel into the bottle. "Sorry, grass." He lit the bottle and was about to throw it towards the house before Jade grabbed his arm.

"YOU'RE FUCKING INSANE!" She shouted. "I-I THOUGHT THIS WAS JUST A SILLY JOKE LIKE HAHA WE'RE GONNA PRANK VRIS FOR SCREWING YOUR GIRLFRIEND OVER IN MINECRAFT BUT THIS IS ACTUALLY CRAZY!" She continued. "YOU KNOW WHAT'S FREAKING INSANE? THE FACT THAT MARRY CAN'T EVEN BE HAPPY IN MINECRAFT. SHE HAS BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH AND VRISKA WON'T EVEN LET HER HAVE THIS!"

"Seto-" She tried to interrupt him. "I'M NOT FINISHED! DO YOU REALIZE HOW MESSED UP THAT IS? Y-" "SETO!" She shouted. "THE BOMB!" She worriedly bursted out, motioning towards the lit bomb he still had in his hand. "AAAAA!" They both screamed as he dropped the bottle and they ran for cover behind the trees.

They covered their ears and pretty soon, an entire half of Vriska's house was burnt.

"And so I was like '8uzz off you supportive little 8-' HOLY SHIT!" Vriska stopped in her tracks and so did Kuroha, who was walking beside her. "WHAT HAPPENED TO MY HOUSE?!?!" She dropped her groceries and put her hands on her head.

"Surprise?"