Reasons To Live✔

29

I stare down at my phone, the ringing combined with the buzzing fills the room. After a few seconds, I answer the phone.

"Thankfuck you're finally talking to me," Josh laughs, a soft laugh.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't in the mood yesterday," I mumble.

"I understand. Are you doing any better now? Do I need to take you out?" He asks.

"With a gun or on a date?" I joke.

"Fifty-fifty chance of either, depending on if you say yes to my next question," he quickly answers. "Can I take you on a date?" He asks after a second of silence.

"Of course, when?"

"I'm busy today with my parents but tomorrow? I have like two hours free if you wanna come over?" He responds, I nod even though he can't see me.

"I'd love too," I laugh after a second.

"If you're allowed too," he awkwardly says after, the feeling of dread to see my parents again sets in. It's not been the best since yesterday.

"I'll be okay," I slowly say, my words dragging out hesitantly.

"Don't get in trouble. See you in a bit?"

"See you in a bit."

Then after he laughs softly the line goes silent. I sigh, my eyes gazing upon the closed door and my ears listening downstairs to the shouting.

I stand up off the bed and slide my boots on and pull my hoodie over my head. Quietly and carefully I open the door and walk down the hallway and to the stairs. I stand there for a second, listening to the shouting and footprints of them both moving around the kitchen. I creep down the stairs, my hand sliding down the banister as I do.

The shouting stops.

I stop moving.

"Where are you going?" My dad shouts, my body tenses up and I glare down at him, he glares back, just as harsh.

"Out, to see Josh," I finally say and walk to the front door, feeling his stare on me.

"Not you're not-"

"Let her leave," my mother suddenly interupts him. I shoot her a small smile and in one swift movement leave the house and start quickly walking down the empty road. My breathing is heavy with every sped up step I take.

After some fast walking and a few small tears I reach Josh's house. I exhale for a few seconds, my eyes stare at the floor. Then I hear a click and a loue, deep shout of my name. I instantly look up and smile. He keeps smiling, smiling until his arms are tightly wrapped around me and he's swinging me around.

"Hi Elyse," he mumbles next to my ear, leaving a small kiss on my cheek. "How you doing?" He asks as he places me down on the pavement.

"Better," I smile. He smiles too and I follow him into his house. His mum's smile at me from the sofa and I awkwardly wave back.

"Ignore them, let's go upstairs before they ask you questions," he laughs next to my ear. I politely nod at the two beautiful women and follow him up the circular stairs.

"I'm sorry about what happened, how they dealing with knowing?" He asks, patting the bed next to him. I walk towards him and sit next to my him, my head instantly resting on his shoulder and my eyes staring up at the posters of different artists like Bon Iver and at the posters for Kill Bill.

"My mother is understanding but my father, really not well," I frown, my voice trailing off.

"I'm sorry, you got me though," he says, his voice happy as his arms wrap around me. I cuddle into him.

"It doesn't help my old friends keep mocking me, they keep adding me to group calls and calling me-"

"How petty," he interupts. I force a small smile and shuffle around in his arms.

"That's just them," I force a laugh.

"Block them," he directly says. 

"What?"

"Block. Them."

"I can't do that, that's mean- I'll mute them," I awkwardly mutter.

"No, fuck these people. They hurt you, they don't deserve you, block them and forget about them."

"Josh-"

"Elyse, it's one of the first steps to moving on, cutting people off. Trust me on this one," he reassuringly says, a smile plastered on his soft face.

"I know," I mumble, handing my phone over to him.

"Your phone?"

"It's hard to move on from the past, but it's good to have support, your support so please, block them for me," I mutter, my hands running over his. He nods slowly.

"How do I know who to block?"

"The groupchat in my DMs, just work through it," I respond, he nods too as I lean forward and softly kiss his forehead. He blushes.

I watch him carefully as he scrolls through my DMs and blocks who he can and all the names he's recognised from our previous talks.

Afterwards, he smiles and kisses my lips softly and quickly, his taste lingering for a second. As he pulls away, he smiles so close I can feel his lips move and in a hushed tone:

"Number twenty-nine: letting the past go."

-

Dedication: other writers.

I know how hard it is to keep writing, there's writers block, self-doubt and hate. But your books are all so unique and you put so much work into them, you deserve all the attention for putting time into them.

Keep going, don't give up on what you love.

And drop your books here so I and other people reading this can read them and support you.