The hand of the clock ticks around, the sound being the only sound in the full hall of students. I click my pen a few times as I finish writing the final few sentences of my final exam, my English exam.
I move my dark eyes towards the clock, 5 minutes left. I lean back in the squeaky chair, it creating a small echo. Years worth of studying for a week full of exams and it's all almost over, I'll finally be free to move on from this place and in turn, Josh.
The final 5 minutes are the slowest 5 minutes.
3...
2...
1...
The bell rings.
The angry woman at the front immediately goes to shout to everyone to shut up. The mutters slowly die out and we all stare at the tiny old woman at the front.
"Congratulations on finishing your final exam!" She shouts miserably. "However, even though this is your last day you still need to follow the rules. I'll dismiss you one at a time. Please leave without causing any disturbances in other classrooms as they are still learning, this line first," she walks over towards the line closest to the door and we sit in silence, listening to them cheering outside.
Eventually, she gets to my line. I stand up slowly, walking out of the almost empty hall. As I do, I catch Sophie's eyeline; she gives me a dirty look and I almost immediately stare at the floor. It's whatever.
Do I just leave? I can't find Josh as he refuses to talk to me in school, even though we're done here now.
Slowly, I drag my feet out the school and towards the closest park, I don't wanna be home alone yet. I push open the squeaky metal gate and walk down the gravel path, listening to it crack under me. Soon, the park is flooding with people from my year to the point I'm nearly flooded out. I walk a tiny distance away, to a small bench on a hill and stare out into the sea of uniforms and people hugging.
This is just hard to watch now, to distract myself I pull out my phone and turn one of my musical playlists on.
Suddenly, the screen flashes blue with a new text.
Josh
4:17PM
Lonely?
Elyse
4:17PM
Very.
I smile as I quickly text him back, it's not long until I get a reply. Before opening it I let my eyes move over the crowd of students until they settle on Josh. He's sat on a bench with Sophie, talking to a few friends. His hair is messy, his smile is wide and his phone in his hand.
Josh
4:19PM
Wish I could come join you, these people are boring me.
Elyse
4:20PM
Why don't you then?
I look over to him as I send it, I notice his smile get a little wider until Sophie mumbles something to him and suddenly it falls away.
Josh
4:25PM
You know why I can't, Elyse. You know what they'd say and how they'd react and I have a party this weekend too. My status is important, and Soph is going too. That comes first.
Elyse
4:27PM
Ah yeah, your status that you have to keep high for a school we no longer go to. But it's cool.
Josh
4:28PM
You know I didn't mean it like that.
Elyse
4:30PM
Sure. I gotta go.
Without thinking I shove my phone away in my back pocket as it vibrates once more. The pit in my stomach feeling empty as I start to walk off. I feel his eyes on me as I do, I feel my heart ache too.
Sometimes Josh can be so careless with his words, sometimes I feel like I don't matter to him and I'm just this project.
As soon as I get into my cold bedroom, I throw my bag down and dive into the bed, my phone falling onto the floor in the process. The cold sheets fold over me and I'm left staring at my wall with Burn playing still. Fuck. Why does Josh have to be like this sometimes?
It's not long until I feel warm tears drop down my face and onto the cold pillow next to me. I feel weak, I'm finally breaking down and losing it. I feel my stomach go empty, my heart beat slowing down and aching. Soon enough my body is shaking with pain, and it's my first mental break down in two weeks. Soon the emotional pain of Josh setting this off is filling me and making my heart clench tight and the tears stream faster and soaking through the pillow. I don't know how to stop apart from lie there and ride it out, that's what I do until I fall asleep an hour later.
When I wake up the moonlight is shining through the small window and the school uniform is creased around me. I force myself to sit up, my legs hanging down. The darkness and vibe seems fitting for my mood.
Slowly, I lift up my phone.
12 New Messages
2 Missed Calls from Josh
Josh
4:35PM
Stay safe.
Josh
6:43PM
I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that, please talk to me.
Josh
8:15PM
Hey, Soph invited me to a last-minute party, sorry if I don't respond for a while.
Josh
9:12PM
I'm a lil drunk and I have something I wanna tell you but I don't wanna ruin what we have.
Josh
9:15PM
I'll call you and tell you.
1 missed call.
2 missed calls.
Josh
9:21PM
Heyyy answer it's an emergency.
Josh
10:34PM
Can we hang out tomorrow?
Josh
10:37PM
I haven't drank enough to be that hung-over.
Josh
11:01PM
Are you going to prom? I remember you saying you weren't.
Josh
11:08PM
You should go, you'd look good in a blue dress I think.
Josh
11:30PM
It's 11 and you haven't responded yet so maybe I did really fuck up.
Josh
11:57PM
Number fourteen: finishing exams and celebrating.
---
Dedication: DefinitelyNot_ they reached out to me and I was honoured to be able to dedicate a chapter to them after looking through their profile. They seem so awesome, and also incredibly talented. I can't wait to check out the books in a greater detail because they all seem great. Also, it's such an aesthetic profile and I love the good vibes you give off, like the immediate good vibes. ♡♡ We all need positivity.
YOU ARE READING
Reasons To Live✔
Teen Fiction"Just give me a month. 31 days until the 20th June. Please Elyse. Everyday I'll give you a reason to live. I promise you I'll change your mind." "1 month." I turn around to look at him. "You won't regret it." He smiles at me, that smile he's so pop...
