Chapter Twenty-One

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  • Dedicated to Who Has Ever Felt Alone
                                    

TRIGGER WARNING!!! Do not read if you are easily triggered by detailed images. I don't want any of you harming those beautiful bodies of yours. Stay safe, and keep moving forward.

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"Alec." I said, swallowing loudly. I don't know why, but now I needed to tell him. I needed to tell him, and before I could wimp out, I started my horrifying truth. He may end up hating me. He may expose me. He may very well never talk to me again. It was just the sliver of hope, that wished that he loved me, and would love me even if I had lied. He stared at me expectantly, his eyes shining with that language I didn't understand.

"I'm in love with you." I blurted out, keeping my eyes trained on him to determine his reaction. His eyes flashed in surprise and I felt the need to keep going. "It hasn't been very long but I feel connected to you. I know it feels like it's too soon, but I know you Alec. I know your quirks, your expressions, I know your habits, and I know more than anything you're scared. You are just like me. Well how I used to be."

"I knew I loved you as soon as I realized you were attracted to me. Something about you has given me hope. You've broken down all my walls, and pushed your way into my heart. As much as I tried to stop you, you were relentless. I had thought I would never love someone again, and when you told me you loved Dawson, I couldn't help but have hope."

Alec's face was slowly morphing into something that looked a bit like alarm, and a bit like fear, I ignored the flag, and poured my heart out to him.

"This doesn't make any sense, I know. Alec I can't stop thinking about you. When I saw you with Nora I felt my heart break. I can't really explain it. You accepted my scars. And embraced them. You helped me when I was drugged and protected me only moments ago."

"And it makes me fall even more in love with you the longer I see you. Even now I can't help but fall more in love." I let out a sigh. Alec's face remained unreadable. I ignored it.

"But because you embraced my flaws, I'm hoping you'll embrace the truth and forgive me, because I know you loved the Dawson back then, and I'm hoping you can love the Dawson now." I took a deep breath, taking a moment to gather myself, before I looked up and met Alec's familiar blue eyes with my own. Eyes that I wished he recognized.

"Alec. Dawson isn't dead. That was a rumor." Alec took in a sharp breath, his fists clenching at his sides. "My real name is Dawson Trick." I choked out. Not waiting for his reaction it was like my lips had a mind of their own.

"I'm not the same Dawson though. I think that's rather obvious. I didn't realize your feelings back then, and I'm sorry. When I came back I just wanted to not be noticed, I swear I didn't know about the rumor, or anything about who spread it. I've been looking into it, but that's not important, the important thing is, even if you didn't recognize me, I knew you, and I fell in love with you."

I walked over to him purposefully, and took his hands in my own. Lifting them to my face, I looked into his eyes, trying to display all my love and trust into my eyes. I tried to express my vulnerability, to show him that he was the one to decide.

"It doesn't matter if you recipocate the feelings, because I'm in lo-" Something caught my attention, from the corner of my eye. A slight silvery mark on Alec's hand.

A silvery scar.

In the shape of a 'W'.

My gaze snapped to his. His eyes were cold, his face hard. he looked down at me unfeelingly, and I knew. The scar.

Alec spread the rumor.

Alec was the one who wanted me dead.

Alec, the boy I fell in love with, was the one who spread the lie who crippled Emelia, and destroyed the entire school.

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