Where Am I? (boyxboy)

Chapter Twenty-Five

Where Am I? is coming to a close very soon. Thank you all so much for your support. I hope you enjoy the chapter!

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"Alec."

I said. My voice wasn't angry, or broken, like I thought it would be. It was like my mouth, dry. I looked at him, as he looked at me, and at the moment, I saw myself reflected in his eyes. He was a broken person, just like I was a shattered human. I looked at him, and saw pain. I saw regret, and I saw guilt.

He attempted a smile at me, and couldn't even manage a wince. He had been staring down at my giant, glued gash, before he had looked up to meet my gaze. Even now, his eyes drifted to the wound, in horror. For a while, neither of us said anything, and I briefly wondered why Aunt Raven would let him in here. Maybe she didn't know. Of course she didn't know. How could she?

The silence told me more than Alec's words ever could. His eyes, which had been unfeeling the last time I saw him, now shown with overwhelming emotion. The silence was one of regret. This moment was confusing. I hadn't even thought of seeing Alec again, which was stupid, since I would have to go to school eventually. For some reason having to face him again didn't even resonate in my mind.

I don't know what I was expecting, for him to torment me, maybe avoid me. The fact was, I felt like I didn't know this boy sitting in front of me. I didn't know him at all. I thought I had known him all these years. I thought I knew what he was capable of, but this was a side I had never known Alec to have. It was one of jealousy, malice and above all, sadness.

I knew Alec hadn't really been thinking clearly when he spread the rumor. Deep in my heart I realized he was just sad. He was betrayed. He had turned his weakness into anger, and became a force he thought was powerful. Everyone likes to feel like their in control, even if it's a false sense of it. Alec was someone I didn't think would hurt me. Along the way, I hadn't realized I trusted him, but I had. Now I don't. I can't trust this boy in front of me. So once again, I broke the manacles that had bound me to him, and freed myself from the disadvantage, of loving someone. Someone who didn't love me back. Freed myself from the agony, that had destroyed me once before. An agony I would not let destroy me again.

Aunt Raven had reminded me of a love so strong, it was unbreakable.

Alec reminded me a love so vulnerable, it was shattered.

So we stayed silent until the clock had turned. Where was Aunt Raven? Just as I began to look around, he spoke.

"Dawson-" He started, and I almost drew back from how devastated he sounded. It was almost like he felt personally wounded by the situation. Why would he? He was the one who wanted me to disappear. My eyes narrowed at the thought, and I looked at him with challenge in my eyes. He was hunched over, his hands clasped together, elbows resting on his knees. He sat up, his blue eyes glassy. Looking up at the light, he ran a hand over his face.

"Shit, I don't even know what to say." He whispered, like he couldn't bare to say it any louder.

"Then don't say anything." I growled out, on the defensive. His eyes flashed, and he looked at me with sorrow on his perfect face. I smoothed mine over with an unreadable mask, just how it was when we had first met. Tears filled his eyes, and my anger only grew. "Don't." I said forcefully. "Don't cry. You have no right to cry." He looked at me, taken aback, then let out a sigh, gulping as he did so.

"I know." He said, his voice strangled. Without my consent, my face softened. The anger was still there, as potent as poison. "I just-" I cut him off swiftly, my voice sharp, and deadly calm. The kind of voice your parent uses, right before they start yelling at you.