Where Am I? (boyxboy)

Chapter Twenty-Four

Where am I?

Where am I?

A grogginess was clouding my brain like a thick spring fog. My body felt like it was weightless, and my arm hurt. I only saw darkness. There was no light. There was no sound. I was in a infinite blackness. Then I realized my eyes were closed.

Peeling my eyes open felt like I hadn't opened them in years. A soft white light was bathing my face in an easy aura. The ceiling, I realized, was not my own. It was unfamiliar. Where am I? My body felt like everything inside me had frozen over. Nothing inside moved. I was just a sculpture, set in stone, immobile. I still didn't have the energy to move my head. I didn't have the energy to move anything.

My deep breathing had evened out to a normal rhythm. Slowly my body defrosted and I was left feeling my body shiver with the thaw. Finally, my being woke up, and I tested myself, wiggling my fingertips and toes. My brain was fully concentrating on the action, and I only registered the sharp gasp that sounded, moments later. I couldn't move my right fingers. They didn't even seem like they were there. Ignoring the gasp, I concentrated on the feel of my right hand, and after stressing and an unknown pain that shot up my arm every time my tendons stretched and worked. I managed to wiggle my fingers, before a sharp, piercing, pain sliced up my entire right arm. Exhausted from my efforts I quickly relaxed my tense muscles and tried to even my rapid breathing.

"Oh, Dawson-" Aunt Raven said, suddenly hovering over my face. My body didn't react in surprise, I only studied her, feeling distant. Her mocha brown eyes were red rimmed and glassy. Under her eyes were dark circles, her hair was a mess, her cheeks streaked with the salty residue of tears. I didn't have the sudden revelation, the memory didn't hit me, like a long forgotten dream. I didn't need to remember. I knew what I did. That was something I couldn't forget, even in sleep.

I don't remember what I dreamed as I slept. Though a brief feeling of nostalgia washed over me like a gentle wave. It didn't last. The wave crashed heavily upon me, pulling me under, filling my lungs with salt water, and disorienting me. I knew where they took me, I was in a hospital. Suddenly feeling the panic rise in my chest, like I had swallowed the ocean, I struggled. My weak body didn't cooperate and although I felt my heartbeat spike, my body was sluggish. My right arm refused to move without immense effort. I groaned as my arm felt like it was being pinched and scratched.

"Dawson, don't move, honey." Aunt Raven said, his voice laced with worry. Her words were choked and sounded like they were made of melting glue. Watery and sticky. Broken. My eyes focused and I saw my surroundings for the first time. I had been right, I was in a hospital. The rooms weren't white, like books always say they are. There wasn't a harsh light that burned my eyes. The room was a blue color. Not anything noticeable, it was a subtle blue. My thoughts were distant, and I didn't feel like I was grounded. It was like I was hovering, my ever present anxiety was under a light film, not quite touching me.

There was a bag of blood running into my right arm, on the inside of my elbow, feeding me the life I needed. It pushed the life, that I had so desperately tried to suffocate, back into my body. Another clear liquid was being pumped into my body, the thing that was making my body feel like every single part had a mind of its own, and that mind didn't want to listen to me. I didn't register Aunt Raven's words as she spoke, but silently took in everything. The uncomfortable looking plastic chairs, the doctor's table in the corner, holding various medical instruments. The TV that was dark, lifeless.

My mind whirled in slow motion. I finally tuned into what Aunt Raven was saying, "-Decided to put you in a placement. The doctor's said they would come evaluate you soon after you woke up. We'll put you in a hospital to stabilize you-" Her words broke off, and the calm professional facade shattered to her feet, and she was crying. "Dawson, I was so scared! They said you might not make it. That you probably wouldn't make it." Suddenly she rushed towards me, and I took in the glistening tears that settled on her face. Immediate guilt surfaced and the pain inside me returned with a vengeance. With my left hand I clutched at my chest, sucking in deep breaths. The heart monitor jumped erratically, making Aunt Raven rush to my side.