Where Am I? (boyxboy)

Chapter Twenty-Three

Alec

I couldn't even think straight. What did I do? I didn't think any of this would turn out this way. I didn't think he would come back, I didn't think he would get close to me. I don't know what I was thinking. What was I thinking?

I'll start from the beginning. I was in love with my best friend. I couldn't tell you when it began. Before he left, before high school, before the popularity and the expectations, I was in love with my best friend. And I hated every minute of it. How could I do this to him? My thoughts were a mess, and driving, which usually calmed me, seemed to have no effect.

I don't know when I fell in love with Dawson Trick. I had always known I liked boys. Always. Dawson didn't have any feelings for me, other than that of a close friend. His best friend. I didn't choose to be in love with him, but you have to understand, Dawson was someone you couldn't help loving. He was like the light to my moth. Magnetic. I was drawn to him, in elementary school I watched him help our classmates. I saw the way he smiled, even when he didn't want to smile at all.

He was so strong. He was so beautiful. I wanted to approach him so many times, and one day we were finally thrown together. I was immersed in a memory.

"You're such a loser Alec." One of the older boys said. He was a fifth grader, and I, with my third grade status held no power in the situation. The fact that I was too tall and too thin with lanky limbs didn't help my cause either.

"Yeah, why don't you go cry to your mommy?" I balled my little fists and felt tears streak down my face. I glared up at them, opening my mouth to say something that would probably earn me a beating. At the moment I didn't care, they crossed a line. No one talks about my mother, but before I could say anything another, familiar voice spoke up on my behalf. I heaved a big sigh of relief, and did a bit of swooning.

"Don't you boys have something to be doing?" Dawson said from behind me, walking slow purposeful steps, his back straight. The way he walked made him look taller than he was, older as well. One of the boys scoffed, making Dawson raise an eyebrow. A look I would come to love.

I was too busy staring at the boy I had been dreaming of talking to for months, to even remember the fear and frustration I had felt moments before in the presence of the older boys. Dawson looked at me from the corner of his eye, making my already red cheeks heat considerably.

"Run along kid, this doesn't involve you." The main tormentor said, his name not even worth remembering. Dawson rolled those entrancing amber eyes, crossing his little arms over his chest. Even at seven, he was a force to be reckoned with.

With narrowed eyes, Dawson stared down the boys and said in that confident voice, "It involved me when you're bothering my friends." I sucked in a sharp breath, looking at my classmate with wide eyes. "Just because someone is younger than you, does not make them a 'loser' it makes them younger. There's nothing wrong with that."

Dawson's words were simple, but at the time they seemed like so much more. With much grumbling, and unimpressive threats the boys retreated down the hallway. I took a deep sighing breath of relief, which was soon snatched away with me as I came face to face with my crush. Someone I wasn't supposed to love.

"That was really cool." I said, looking awkwardly at the ground. I heard Dawson's high pitched chuckle, that over the years would grow deep and throaty. I looked up surprised, already feeling the heat race to my cheeks. That was the first time I looked deep into those honey colored eyes, and the last time I would think of loving anyone besides the boy in front of me.

"Well since I already said you were my friend, you should take responsibility and follow through." I cocked my head to the side, confused as to what he was he was implying. At my age his big words sounded impressive and serious, making me feel smaller than I was.